tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132437482024-03-23T12:46:57.068-05:00Adrift many thoughts"Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story." -Don SnyderMelodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-74847589351836520302014-11-21T12:29:00.000-06:002014-11-21T12:29:06.009-06:00Confession... it has been OVER 2 years since my last post. That being said. I still don't think my life is important enough to write about for all to see. Maybe that's what happens when you get older?<br />
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Either way. Life has been rich and wonderful and frustrating. Isn't it always?<br />
Here are a few snap shots into the last 2 years...<br />
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<br />Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-89131944057663527402012-07-18T22:39:00.000-05:002012-07-23T21:19:06.451-05:00Random thoughts about being proudThere are days when I think the world is going to end. And then I realize it's my own inner turmoil. Such madness rolls around my head sometimes that it's hard to see clearly. Hard to see clearly the ones I love mean the best for me, even though it may not look like it at first. I've been through a lot in my life. A lot of it is secret, because that's how most lives are... full of 'secret' everyday lives. The part of life that is just the usual mundane blah blah blah part of life. The part that we rush through to get to what we think are the highlights, rush though to get to loved ones, rush through because we are not happy. And when those highlights fail us we are depressed. Don't kid yourself, you know it's true. So what is the meaning of life? What makes us truly happy? Is it the journey or the destination that we long for? This past year of my life has been one of the happiest and one of the most frustrating. I've accomplished a lot. I believe I am happy. But even happy people go through spurts of depression. Fights. Down time. Etc...<br />
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Here are my events in the past year that I'm most proud of, besides my everyday existence, my family, and my friends.<br />
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I've been fighting a low thyroid since 2006-7. Finally in 2009-10 they got me on my current dosage that has enabled me to live life normally and to finally lose weight and keep it off. I started slow with the Wii and walking and now have a gym membership that I used to use 3-4 times a week and now it's down to one with the madness that is Caleb's baseball schedule, Sean, Family, Vacation, Life. I fully plan on returning to my dedication in the fall.<br />
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I'm really proud of my legs right now... They are amazing! lol <br />
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Sean and I wear matching rings... on our right hand. :-) I love that boy. This is a photo during the color run. We just went through the blue paint station. <br />
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I did the Polar Plunge! Always wanted to, never had the guts or someone to jump with me. Sean is my Adventure buddy. We are two of a kind him and I. I love it. <br />
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Last September I did the Mud run and sprained my ankle at Mile 1. Sean helped me through the rest of the 10k in the mud, hills, sand, water, trees, rocks... etc. But I finished. Smiling.<br />
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Newest Adventure was last Sunday. We did the color run at the state fair grounds. It was an ok run. The most fun was getting to look like this:<br />
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These are my public highlights. There are many daily ones like getting design files to print correctly. Making someone laugh or feel that they are amazing at what they do and who they are... Being a mom. Being someone. Being me. <br />
<br />Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-90175735090297043052012-03-25T20:24:00.006-05:002012-03-25T20:34:36.870-05:00A year from today I met you...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fiQcjLEK5QQ/T2_HZh5Bg8I/AAAAAAAAAQw/aBWV7Ysfq-Q/s1600/IMG_1692.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fiQcjLEK5QQ/T2_HZh5Bg8I/AAAAAAAAAQw/aBWV7Ysfq-Q/s320/IMG_1692.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724012892819391426" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o2vqbOP6Bvs/T2_GwV8Zd4I/AAAAAAAAAQU/aYak33Gv69k/s1600/6280805347_75ef72d255_z.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o2vqbOP6Bvs/T2_GwV8Zd4I/AAAAAAAAAQU/aYak33Gv69k/s320/6280805347_75ef72d255_z.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724012185237682050" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6fBzHY7DiVk/T2_GwL5b4EI/AAAAAAAAAQM/JU38K8xNMZY/s1600/6158800739_623e2c8ea6_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6fBzHY7DiVk/T2_GwL5b4EI/AAAAAAAAAQM/JU38K8xNMZY/s320/6158800739_623e2c8ea6_o.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724012182540902466" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v0_ecJE-PKk/T2_Gvy1iORI/AAAAAAAAAQA/m1EavNaUS4I/s1600/SYS60_201109011416426626.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v0_ecJE-PKk/T2_Gvy1iORI/AAAAAAAAAQA/m1EavNaUS4I/s320/SYS60_201109011416426626.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724012175813654802" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rfurky4Pkvo/T2_Gw76NKJI/AAAAAAAAAQk/ffATicXOdw0/s1600/6158798659_80863613cd_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rfurky4Pkvo/T2_Gw76NKJI/AAAAAAAAAQk/ffATicXOdw0/s320/6158798659_80863613cd_o.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724012195429034130" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vki5rmNG59A/T2_Fr85EgdI/AAAAAAAAAPo/80ing5Xh3bE/s1600/218828_10150157383238349_713013348_6647902_5271794_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vki5rmNG59A/T2_Fr85EgdI/AAAAAAAAAPo/80ing5Xh3bE/s320/218828_10150157383238349_713013348_6647902_5271794_o.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724011010281734610" border="0" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4BdDpPWRMrc/T2_F45uBBiI/AAAAAAAAAP0/cbruPPPrHt8/s1600/242284_10150198674243349_713013348_7011787_1616005_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4BdDpPWRMrc/T2_F45uBBiI/AAAAAAAAAP0/cbruPPPrHt8/s320/242284_10150198674243349_713013348_7011787_1616005_o.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724011232768362018" border="0" /></a><br />Thank you for being you. I can honestly say that I've never felt so complete and wholly happy. I love you!Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-37882834498742553132012-03-21T10:57:00.002-05:002012-03-21T11:02:56.618-05:00A year from today...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0SsfVVBmEJk/T2n7jOJ1FAI/AAAAAAAAAPc/Ncz5wfd9juo/s1600/405298_10150671173923349_713013348_9283503_369944635_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0SsfVVBmEJk/T2n7jOJ1FAI/AAAAAAAAAPc/Ncz5wfd9juo/s320/405298_10150671173923349_713013348_9283503_369944635_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722381384064242690" border="0" /></a>We knew of each other. But hadn't met yet.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-41593095577101587212011-09-20T22:18:00.002-05:002011-09-20T22:22:05.458-05:00So... I've always wanted one...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yj6kFsT9V-w/TnlXtylbAzI/AAAAAAAAAPU/jQMur6Vey7o/s1600/6159259824_d8ac2e25a3_o.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yj6kFsT9V-w/TnlXtylbAzI/AAAAAAAAAPU/jQMur6Vey7o/s320/6159259824_d8ac2e25a3_o.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654647251324830514" border="0" /></a><br />But no one ever took initiative... until I met Sean. :-)<br /><br />First Surprise birthday party. He totally got me. :-)<br /><br />Scoured Facebook with Aly's help for friends that I would want there. Sneaking a friend's phone number, mad texting, goofy behavior...<br /><br />You are the best. My Awesome. My love.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-41323063102968320962011-09-12T21:35:00.003-05:002011-09-12T21:41:14.035-05:00One of my biggest accomplishments!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ImCuVK3NpnQ/Tm7CRynoHcI/AAAAAAAAAPE/cjPoKufdeU0/s1600/summer%2B2011%2B024.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ImCuVK3NpnQ/Tm7CRynoHcI/AAAAAAAAAPE/cjPoKufdeU0/s320/summer%2B2011%2B024.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5651668193298095554" border="0" /></a><br />I never thought I would be running a marathon... Let alone in the mud!<br /><br />After spraining my ankle about a mile and a half in we gimped it through the remaining 4 1/2 miles.<br /><br />Next year... Boots and an ankle brace! Still... 6 miles in 3 hours 45 min through mud, hills, water, etc... with a sprain? Pretty damn good. :-)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CrRXY4pyoKM/Tm7CouozBlI/AAAAAAAAAPM/Ee8G2D86Xj8/s1600/summer%2B2011%2B039.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CrRXY4pyoKM/Tm7CouozBlI/AAAAAAAAAPM/Ee8G2D86Xj8/s320/summer%2B2011%2B039.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5651668587366254162" border="0" /></a>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-8862234611166859342011-09-07T19:30:00.004-05:002011-09-07T19:33:39.663-05:00And then there were two of me...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j1I_FLQM3FE/TmgNPe55omI/AAAAAAAAAO8/XEh-ObGLp3Y/s1600/July%2B2011%2B010.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j1I_FLQM3FE/TmgNPe55omI/AAAAAAAAAO8/XEh-ObGLp3Y/s320/July%2B2011%2B010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649780292181402210" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vC__rJR0GCM/TmgM1pViJ5I/AAAAAAAAAO0/zXRjf0M72vo/s1600/July%2B2011%2B010.jpg"><br /></a>...that would make us a 'WE' wouldn't it?Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-89445473086884836332011-09-07T19:25:00.003-05:002011-09-07T19:27:07.069-05:00How can you beat 'Grandma approved' without her even meeting him?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-frwZNKBoI_8/TmgLyG0p4XI/AAAAAAAAAOs/Y_qvlK1vYf0/s1600/210302_10150169242208349_713013348_6757213_7774235_o.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-frwZNKBoI_8/TmgLyG0p4XI/AAAAAAAAAOs/Y_qvlK1vYf0/s320/210302_10150169242208349_713013348_6757213_7774235_o.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649778687989113202" border="0" /></a><br />Way to go Babe! :-)Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-34258718092179719802011-08-14T21:01:00.002-05:002011-08-14T22:03:57.541-05:00I've dreamed about you my whole life...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rlcnXvXRURw/TkiMaDfKvXI/AAAAAAAAAOk/L29RxHOrfnA/s1600/July%2B2011%2B030.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rlcnXvXRURw/TkiMaDfKvXI/AAAAAAAAAOk/L29RxHOrfnA/s320/July%2B2011%2B030.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5640912912522067314" border="0" /></a>
<br />Him: "You know... I've been dreaming about you for a long time." Is how the conversation started, so I didn't hold back my half... Me: "I've dreampt about you too. My whole life. You've always been the mystery boy/man in my dreams." Him: "Why didn't you tell me!?" Me: "How creepy is it to start a conversation with 'hey, you're the mystery man in my dreams. That's where I know you from. Seriously." *laughter* Him: "I love you." Me: "I love you more." Him: "Not even close."
<br />Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-8787718356016155442011-04-19T20:34:00.004-05:002011-04-19T20:37:54.049-05:00"Because WE laugh"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MGgSpKRQKgQ/Ta44pnldHNI/AAAAAAAAAOY/vbr6B0emCAw/s1600/Seanmelodybathtub.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MGgSpKRQKgQ/Ta44pnldHNI/AAAAAAAAAOY/vbr6B0emCAw/s320/Seanmelodybathtub.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597473674519977170" border="0" /></a>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-54674952074984977452010-12-05T20:15:00.003-06:002010-12-05T20:36:05.182-06:00There are better things to do in life than Date.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TPxMCOSkajI/AAAAAAAAAN0/mauEMn1dlmQ/s1600/3677404048_9f33c18296_b.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TPxMCOSkajI/AAAAAAAAAN0/mauEMn1dlmQ/s320/3677404048_9f33c18296_b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547392442093038130" border="0" /></a><br />Like:<br />Sewing<br />Wine<br />Chocolate<br />Brownies<br />Laughing with Friends<br />Cooking/Baking<br />Painting<br />Productive Alone Time<br />Napping<br />Watching horribly Girly Movies while Drinking said wine and Said Brownies.<br /><br />Dating sucks. But how does a person put aside that feeling of wanting a relationship? And I DO want a relationship, but it's not a super priority like it used to be over 5 years ago. And THAT feels good.<br /><br />Sure I have a profile up on a few dating sites, but it's so boring, so little involved, so old. Which is why I've asked myself why I have them up if it's nothing more than a mere distraction or the need to feel attractive to someone, somewhere. And that's basically it.<br /><br />To feel attractive to another human being, that isn't your family, is a craving that we all have at one time felt the need of needing. The problem that so many fall into (including myself) is letting it get the better of how we feel about ourselves and worrying so much about what others think about us, that it stands in the way of being truly beautiful being ourselves. Which, we all are, beautiful, wonderful Women (or men).<br /><br />You are Beautiful. No matter if you aren't the 'picture perfect' image the magazines show.<br />You are Worth it.<br />You are Worth it.<br />You ARE worth it.<br /><br />Be comfortable in you, in your own skin.<br /><br />And if that scares you, take time to find out who you are, what your solid likes and dislikes are, don't please everyone all the time. Focus on you so that you can focus on others fully instead of half being there and the other half wondering about yourself.<br /><br />Time. It takes time to develop these things. But let me tell you, it's well worth the effort to find yourself, heal from old wounds, and move forward with life in freedom with the knowledge that in a world that is crazy, at least you've got your own peace in knowing who you are and what you want to be.<br /><br />Life is beautiful!<br /><br />And so are we!Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-76534094575768403992010-06-13T16:42:00.003-05:002011-03-05T08:54:01.541-06:00Upon asking God to break you...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBVa0cJH5_I/AAAAAAAAANk/Bq3MV31cSyQ/s1600/yay.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBVa0cJH5_I/AAAAAAAAANk/Bq3MV31cSyQ/s320/yay.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482387978347603954" border="0"></a><br />Beware! Crazy things will happen!<br /><br />And it actually does! About Halloween of last year (2009) I started attending a new church. Mercy Vineyard in Minneapolis after years of being a loyal 'bluerite'. It was sad to leave, but I really can't explain what happened. I believe people have seasons and what is right for us in them changes. I loved my church family and still do, so I was hesitant about starting something new.<br /><br />After the first week I started applying what Jeff was preaching on Sunday mornings and I believe one thing that I felt that needed to happen to me was to be completely broken before God so that I would grow into who He wanted me to be. So, it was a simple prayer "Lord, break me, make me whole in you, I want to be happier, I want an awesome marriage, I want work to be more fulfilling, etc."<br /><br />About a month later my husband and I decided to live separately. -Break one-<br /><br />About 2 weeks after that I was laid off from my job. -Break two-<br /><br />I moved in with a friend and started healing and began really enjoying getting to know myself, what my triggers were and working through things with my husband all while really enjoying having a close friend. It's hard for me to get close to people. It really is. This friend was really close to me, like a sister. Many of you know that my sister died in 1998 in a car accident and I was the driver. It's in a previous post if you want to look back and/or catch up. So, you can imagine my surprise when after 3 months suddenly I'm asked to find another place to live. -Break three-<br /><br />I moved back in with another friend and felt relaxed and motivated to find my own place. While here I thought my relationship with my husband was going well until last week (June 7th and 8th) when it was brought up by him that he wasn't feeling the being married and living separately thing and he didn't see our relationship making it in the long run. That floored me! What later was a fight and then an end to our relationship was baffling. -Break four-<br /><br />So everything that I had asked for has seemed like a waste, except for the being broken part. After each break I thanked God in anger, sorrow, confusion, frustration, trust, love, and obedience.<br /><br />I did not however react nicely at first to any of the breaks, but it was only a matter of days before I realized I couldn't control any of the events and began to move forward again.<br /><br />Thinking back on what has happened to me I honestly am excited about the road forward. I feel free, more self reliant and able to think clearly about a whole multitude of situations. I feel strangely refreshed and ready to move forward. I really can't explain it! Of course there is the missing, the occasional loneliness and frustrations, but over all there is a sense of relief and absolute joy.<br /><br />God's peace and love underlines my life. There's chaos and, well life, but deep down there's an understanding about how God loves me, is proud of me, wants me as I am and He is THAT good. I've found that really letting go is control. It's a paradox and it works. I can't control God or my life, but I can control and monitor how I react to life. And with His help I've made it through some pretty rough situations. Not perfectly and like anyone my reactions to things need work and grace, but it's the process that's the destination. The Journey is the growing and growing up.<br /><br />Today I feel happy, same with yesterday, and Friday, and I'm hoping for tomorrow. I don't know what He has for me, but I feel pretty lucky to have been chosen to feel this loved and this at peace while my life has seemed to go up in flames.<br /><br />I'm amazed everyday when I learn more about God and His love that it's already there, the things that I'm hearing are merely confirmations of what has already been instilled somehow.<br /><br />He is awesome. And even that is too small a word to explain very much.<br />Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-56184503394607224692010-06-12T11:40:00.005-05:002010-06-12T11:56:05.650-05:00The Hair!As some of you know my hair is some kind of phenomenon. It grows crazy fast! This past year I did a few things with my hair and thought I would share them. Mainly because I'm bored and I haven't posted anything here since November of 2009! Holy Crap! Anyway without further ado, the journey of the hair!<div style="text-align: center;">Before: Roughly February 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO5eKfb9NI/AAAAAAAAANE/SJntgVBrBac/s1600/DSC02537.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO5eKfb9NI/AAAAAAAAANE/SJntgVBrBac/s320/DSC02537.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481929099303449810" border="0" /></a><br />First cut and donation to Locks of Love. Roughly July 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO6Oum7V9I/AAAAAAAAANM/DZ9VtUe5g4M/s1600/DSC02787.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO6Oum7V9I/AAAAAAAAANM/DZ9VtUe5g4M/s320/DSC02787.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481929933632264146" border="0" /></a><br />Most Recent cut: May 2010 and another donation to locks of love<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO7RLcvDTI/AAAAAAAAANU/csb8AfWF8FI/s1600/18287365457_ORIG.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO7RLcvDTI/AAAAAAAAANU/csb8AfWF8FI/s320/18287365457_ORIG.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481931075245509938" border="0" /></a><br /><br />After: May 2010<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO7R0J-k6I/AAAAAAAAANc/0vWkQuOqAoI/s1600/18321223528_ORIG.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/TBO7R0J-k6I/AAAAAAAAANc/0vWkQuOqAoI/s320/18321223528_ORIG.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481931086172689314" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-56441335364535177582009-11-07T14:01:00.002-06:002009-11-07T14:09:50.614-06:00My new creative venture<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT24O7LaI/AAAAAAAAAM8/x3IInY5T5NY/s1600-h/mustard+with+blue+circles+and+white+embroidery.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT24O7LaI/AAAAAAAAAM8/x3IInY5T5NY/s320/mustard+with+blue+circles+and+white+embroidery.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401456267862158754" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This is what my art has been doing for the summer. I needed something portable and easy to put away while I enjoyed the weather, outdoors, etc. Now I sit and watch TV while stitching and am loving it! My painting will start up again now that the colder weather will force more inside time. I'm looking forward to painting again, but will continue to sew cards. It's so soothing!<br /><br />Here are a couple to entice you to looking at a few more here: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melodyeve/">flickr</a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT2aKxN9I/AAAAAAAAAMs/ULRNSlEiX04/s1600-h/brown+card+with+green+tye+dyed+and+blue+wedges.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 237px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT2aKxN9I/AAAAAAAAAMs/ULRNSlEiX04/s320/brown+card+with+green+tye+dyed+and+blue+wedges.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401456259791665106" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT2tZpIWI/AAAAAAAAAM0/wuK33rS-e10/s1600-h/brown+card+with+red+polka+dot+and+mustard+with+brown+embroidery.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SvXT2tZpIWI/AAAAAAAAAM0/wuK33rS-e10/s320/brown+card+with+red+polka+dot+and+mustard+with+brown+embroidery.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401456264954323298" border="0" /></a>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-7583428122185368072009-07-05T10:51:00.002-05:002009-07-05T10:53:28.378-05:00I'm in love with my garden.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SlDMZohWpII/AAAAAAAAAMk/AaU-D9xK708/s1600-h/DSC02741.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SlDMZohWpII/AAAAAAAAAMk/AaU-D9xK708/s320/DSC02741.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355004697689629826" border="0" /></a><br />I have to brag about how beautiful I think these plants are. I love sitting and just looking at them.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-8527049628446454632008-11-09T12:09:00.002-06:002008-11-09T12:14:00.161-06:00Creating again<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SRcoXlUBE1I/AAAAAAAAAL0/7J9qH3wAgRU/s1600-h/green+tree1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 58px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SRcoXlUBE1I/AAAAAAAAAL0/7J9qH3wAgRU/s320/green+tree1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266722674851255122" border="0" /></a><br />It has been awhile since I wrote. I have been busy with a lot of things and have not really been in the mood for writing. I do have new artwork! You can see some of it here: <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/melodyeve/">http://flickr.com/photos/melodyeve/</a>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-22648238035027161952008-05-27T20:13:00.004-05:002008-05-27T20:45:02.608-05:00Jaded<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDy4lPl0KWI/AAAAAAAAAIc/iwuTcxGhYzU/s1600-h/becauseilovedyou.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDy4lPl0KWI/AAAAAAAAAIc/iwuTcxGhYzU/s320/becauseilovedyou.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205238219313260898" border="0" /></a><br />"Because I loved you"<br /><br /></div>I have to say that my perceptions of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">christians</span> or the 'pop culture' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">christians</span> are very bad. It has come as quite a blow realizing that some of the faith that I hold dear would go as far as banning someone from coming from their church based on the fact that the person made them <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/21/autistic-boy-banned-from_n_102953.html">uncomfortable</a>.<br /><br />I am further frustrated with '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">christians</span>' as being people who do not want to go outside their comfort zones. Remaining in tight circles that only include other <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">christians</span>, only listening to christian music, etc.<br /><br />Here is my statement: Didn't God call us to go OUT into the world and LIVE for HIM? The only way that we are going to reach anyone in an honest way is not to stay in our cliques. We need to go out and experience the world so that the world will understand what we have to offer. The best witness? Living your life for God, being compassionate, getting into uncomfortable situations, being real, becoming friends with the world, growing in your personal faith and allowing yourself the freedom to explore how deep you can get into God. I believe that God is very compassionate. I believe that He has the power (way over our understanding) to do anything He wants and sees fit to do. We cannot control Him however much we may pray or go to church or only listen to christian music... I believe that He wants everyone. And He wants them the way they are... The one thing that He wants more than our 'spotless' living is our hearts loving on Him. Us giving Him attention and devotion and sharing that love and acceptance with everyone that we come into contact on a <span style="font-style: italic;">daily basis</span>. Meet them on their level with their experiences. Above all, love them unconditionally as you believe God loves you.<br /><br />The worst? Telling someone that what they believe is wrong. How dry and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">unfulfilling</span> would the world be if everyone believed the same thing, or spoke the same or had the same laugh? Who are we to tell one another to believe the same thing? All we have are experiences. Nothing is concrete, no one learns the exact same way, or experiences the same thing the exact way as someone else. We need to be accepting people, understanding people, patient people, people that other people want to talk to rather than run away from us because they think we are going to shove our 'faith' down their throats.<br /><br />I can't tell you how angry I am about people <a href="http://wcco.com/local/autistic.son.family.2.726391.html">banning people from church</a> or saying that not going to church is a sin. These people have no idea of what kind of image they are putting forth and how revolting this type of faith is to the rest of the world. I refuse to be apart of this kind of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">christianity</span>.<br /><br />I believe that I am loved unconditionally and that love is available to anyone at anytime by God. I want be called something that means truly what I believe. The word 'christian' does not describe me in this modern world.<br /><br />I am a real Christ believer. What do we call that?Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-63915998020716316642008-05-18T10:10:00.004-05:002008-05-18T10:21:28.103-05:00A tragic Happening...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDBIuyhVs9I/AAAAAAAAAIM/iwqQsUnSimA/s1600-h/red+phone+small.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDBIuyhVs9I/AAAAAAAAAIM/iwqQsUnSimA/s320/red+phone+small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201737538285712338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />My poor little red phone is no more. After its bout with the washing machine yesterday at about 4:30pm all it will do is vibrate. Poor little guy. At this time I am unable to access the numbers and contact information it still has on it, but if it dries out enough the sales people at Sprint say that they might be able to access the information if the phone will turn on. I'm hoping for that! In the meantime, I need your digits... please send them along to my email! Thank you.<br /><br />So, the new phone was 'born'. It is a beautiful green phone, as you can see, I think we will become very good buddies. It is beautiful.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDBIvChVs-I/AAAAAAAAAIU/vkwAGvsgrwA/s1600-h/green+phone+small.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/SDBIvChVs-I/AAAAAAAAAIU/vkwAGvsgrwA/s320/green+phone+small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201737542580679650" border="0" /></a>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-85624650096875245202007-11-04T20:54:00.001-06:002007-11-04T22:16:12.695-06:00We only see in Part. (part 2)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6YLtbVBBI/AAAAAAAAAFA/MbJU0dZ6P5U/s1600-h/BABY+MELODY+SELAH+AND+I.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6YLtbVBBI/AAAAAAAAAFA/MbJU0dZ6P5U/s200/BABY+MELODY+SELAH+AND+I.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129204352561775634" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Just a side note, I don't know how many parts of 'we only see in part' I will be doing. I guess until I am done with all I have to share.<br /><br />I don't know if I did such a good job tying in the 'beginning' that I mentioned in my last post... Oh well...<br />What I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">meant</span> by 'beginning' was that I was going to go into death and how it has been in my life from a very young age.<br /><br />I believe that I have been spared numerous times from bad things happening to me. Here are my experiences:<br /><br />I was born purple. I decided to breath before leaving my mother's womb.<br /><br />When I was in my walker I flew down a flight of cement steps into the basement of the bakery that my parents owned. My dad threw himself down the steps to save me from hitting a cement wall.<br /><br />The most terrible: a car accident involving me, my sister, and our own school bus. This one resulted in a death. My sister.<br /><br />December 17<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span>, 1998. I was 18, a senior in high school. She was 16. The weather had turned bad while we were at school and so we decided to head home instead of trekking through the storm to Fergus Falls to our <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ballet</span> classes. A few miles out of our school town we hit black ice and headed into the oncoming traffic lane. I don't really remember anything else except waking up from a dream that we had been in an accident. Only the accident in my dream happened in a totally different location and no one had gotten hurt. When I did wake up there were feathers all over and a familiar voice calling my name asking if I was okay and if I could tell anyone what had happened. My sister <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Selah</span> had only regained consciousness for a brief time throughout my memory of the ambulance ride into Detroit Lakes. The feathers had come from her feather down coat that they cut off of her.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6Y4dbVBCI/AAAAAAAAAFI/1xm8iGQcGco/s1600-h/Fron+seats.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6Y4dbVBCI/AAAAAAAAAFI/1xm8iGQcGco/s200/Fron+seats.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129205121360921634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />What happened? After I hit the black ice (I was driving), I headed onto the shoulder of the oncoming traffic lane. Which put me right in line with our own school bus (the one that picked us up in the mornings when I didn't drive to school) to hit right behind the passenger side door. The car ended up in 3 pieces: the seats where <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Selah</span> and I were sitting, the rear wheels, and the engine and front tires could be seen spinning still on the road.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Selah</span> stayed only minutes in the small hospital in Detroit lakes and was almost immediately taken to the Fargo, ND hospital with my parents. I was left<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6XdtbVA_I/AAAAAAAAAEw/c40tZdRHttU/s1600-h/Passenger+door+front.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6XdtbVA_I/AAAAAAAAAEw/c40tZdRHttU/s200/Passenger+door+front.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129203562287793138" border="0" /></a> with friends to scream at the radiologist to get me off of the stretcher because it hurt and because I was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">claustrophobic</span> and couldn't move. I spent, I think, 5 days in the hospital and left with only minor cuts and bruises. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Selah</span> made great leaps and bounds in recovering from her injuries. However, one day it just stopped. She became jaundiced and the doctors declared her brain dead. She lived in the hospital for 10 days after the accident.<br /><br />I remember being in her room and <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6XfNbVBAI/AAAAAAAAAE4/hreUrVsiA4k/s1600-h/Back+of+car+and+car+engine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry6XfNbVBAI/AAAAAAAAAE4/hreUrVsiA4k/s200/Back+of+car+and+car+engine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129203588057596930" border="0" /></a>thinking "why was I left here?". I also remember seeing a shadowy figure by my sister's side. The figure I felt was death. I prayed for it to leave, but in my heart I knew that he would not. A few days later when we had decided to take her off of the machines we were praying in a room down the hall as a family. During the prayer I had a vision of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Selah</span> getting up out of the bed and taking the hand of the shadowy figure and walked down the hall, right into the room where we were praying. She looked at me, still holding the hand of the stranger, and asked if I wanted to come with her. I know I thought about saying yes, but I told her that I couldn't, I was needed here. The look in her eyes was of understanding and sorrow. She nodded yes, walked out of the room, and was gone.<br /><br />The papers rightly placed the blame of the accident on me. Reckless driving (going 45) and hitting black ice. The paramedics interviewed about the accident said that even they had a hard time even standing on the spot that my car tires had hit.<br /><br />The funeral for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Selah</span> was held in the school Gym. There were hundreds of people there. I barely remember it except for this: I made up a dance for the funeral. When I performed it I looked over my right shoulder and smiled. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Selah</span> and I used to dance together in workshops, ballet classes, home, for celebrations since we were very small. I could envision her dancing beside me and that brought me hope that she had made a decision to follow her savior into the light to save her classmates and anyone who was impacted by her life. I think she made a choice. I think she was allowed to see both sides of the story and knowing her she chose the side that would bring the most honor to her creator. After the dance ended I received a standing ovation. I was confused as to why. Hadn't I been the catalyst to this funeral? Why was I left standing? Why weren't these people as mad at me as I was at myself? It was a few months later when I found out an answer that made me think that there was more to me living on than just being punished for something unknown. One of the paramedics was one of our substitute teachers in gym class and knew <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Selah</span> and I well. She also knew about accidents. She caught up to me with tears in her eyes at a school function to tell me this: "When you danced with full movement of your limbs I cried and was filled with such joy. You shouldn't be here, let alone walking. The accident was that bad."<br /><br />I miss her terribly. Going through the grieving process of Angela has brought me through grieving for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Selah</span> again. I don't think I allowed myself to fully grieve her (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Selah</span>) passing and was transported back in time as I stepped into the funeral home, last Thursday evening, to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Selah's</span> viewing. I can only begin to know exactly what Angela's family is going through. But I have a pretty good idea.<br /><br />I battled depression over the accident, not knowing how to work through being left behind. I left home and went to college. Got married. And one day decided to take all the pills in the house. I called a close friend immediately and was rushed to emergency room. I decided to change my mind. I chose life. Let me tell you liquid charcoal does<span style="font-style: italic;"> not</span> taste good. Months later, I found out that I was pregnant with Caleb. Caleb was then born in the same hospital where <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Selah</span> passed away. We stayed in a room just down the hallway from where we last saw her spirit here on earth and we brought new life to my family.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-2248369927203136672007-11-04T07:27:00.000-06:002007-11-04T08:53:56.784-06:00We only see in part. (part one)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry3c7NbVA9I/AAAAAAAAAEg/BQUnL1pNYoM/s1600-h/ineverwanttobewithoutyou.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ry3c7NbVA9I/AAAAAAAAAEg/BQUnL1pNYoM/s200/ineverwanttobewithoutyou.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128998460419539922" border="0" /></a><br />These past weeks have been filled with decisions, life choices, and losses. Which have all compelled me to write and share parts of me that I may or may not have already shared with you pertaining to my faith, my thoughts about what my 'mission field' is and past experiences. I apologize if anyone reading this is offended by my specific beliefs, values and ideas. I would advise that I am not trying to convince you that my way is right for you. I am simply giving you my opinion based on my experiences in life and faith.<br /><br />Let us start at the beginning and the most recent happening to me and my community of believers. Last Sunday I received a call from a friend in our community that a friend from my/our community had (and I sincerely apologize if how I describe this hurts or offends anyone, I do not want to sound brash or simply stating something that is indeed delicate and important to me. I am merely stating a fact.) committed suicide. I will remember instantly how I felt. Stunned. Surprised. Astonished. And desperately trying not to break immediately down because I was in the middle of Target trying to keep composure from the news, keep track of Caleb, and finish grocery shopping. This woman appeared to be close to God in action, thought, and word. She was indeed a light to many, but did indeed have dark shadows surrounding her life. I struggled throughout the week to actually come to terms with the fact that she would no longer be with us in person and that it had indeed actually happened.<br /><br />Last night at bluer we had a guest speaker. He has spoken at our gatherings before through a long series about the fruits of the spirit. This man has wisdom and wears this with an air of humble servant and messenger of 'how it really is'. He is, and stated last night, a person who believes this:<br /><br />1Corinthians 13:12<br />"<span id="en-MSG-12234" class="sup"></span>We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!" (The Message)<br /><br />We only see in part what God is doing, how He is moving, etc. His other point that really seemed to hit a spot in me that I have truly been attaching to all areas of my life with such vibrant and excited enthusiasm for years, is this: There is a long line of judgements/decisions from the little ones that we do on a daily basis, the corporate church, and then way out of our reach the final judgements/decisions of God. He also said that in the final hour, the final judgement we do not get to make that decision. That decision is ultimately God's to make.<br /><br />The fate of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">our self</span>, our fellow believers, anyone isn't ours to decide! Isn't that amazing and a huge relief? We only know in part. We only need to know what God has shown us and is working through us. I am so glad for this information and that these thoughts have been echoed by others. Therefore further solidifying it in my heart and daily thought processes.<br /><br />The words 'the decision is ultimately God's to make'. If we believe that there is a God, why do we try to say that we know what He is thinking and what He will do? How can we put Him in a box and say that 'this is exactly what He is and what He will do'? When in reality when we say this doesn't it mean that we have everything figured out? And if that is the case, why do we need a god that we have now figured out? I am glad and thankful that I do not fully know what God will do in my life or others. I like to trust Him completely, fully, and with open arms. And when I go through phases of my life where I feel dry or lost He has been faithful to put people of great, humble faith in my life that have shared messages and parts of themselves that have touched me deeply and confirmed my thoughts, almost exactly, of whether or not I am following as I should be, and if my ideas of how I am proceeding forward are indeed valid. They have been. This is exciting news! It is so exciting to me! I love these discovery phases of life. These phases are the ones where there seems to be so much going on, and yet He pulls us closer revealing that He knows us better than anyone and so revealing Himself and to some of what He is and can be. I know that I do not want to serve a god that I have figured out. That is boring and there is NO life or growth in those circumstances. Where is hope or faith if you have your god in a box? My father (God) lives and moves freely throughout my life and He has no bounds as to what He might or might not do. I am merely His child whom He loves beyond any fathomable belief that I could contain in my small frame. And for this I am eternally thankful and strive to do the work that He has called me to do. And I do and will do this work willingly and with great enthusiasm of the heart. Where He calls me, I will go.<br /><br />I am not saying that I have it figured out. I am happy to say that I do believe that I only know a part. The part that God has shown me about my life and I am happy to know that part and trust Him fully with everything else. His will be done. And it will.<br /><p><br /></p>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-77728964801852916172007-09-27T21:47:00.001-05:002007-09-27T21:53:58.881-05:00The weather today was awesome!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RvxssBVONzI/AAAAAAAAAEU/lC-JHXiT1SM/s1600-h/286927703_7b4d7d44f1_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RvxssBVONzI/AAAAAAAAAEU/lC-JHXiT1SM/s200/286927703_7b4d7d44f1_m.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5115082780313532210" border="0" /></a><br />I have to say, I don't usually enjoy my LONG commute from Saint Paul to Osseo every day. And I can only imagine the horrors of driving it in the winter! But today, it was fun. The strange weather was amazingly beautiful. Double rainbow. Dark clouds ahead while bright sunlight fell and rain poured. Hwy 94 seemed to be transformed into a river and the cars, wheeled speed boats, racing over the water. The water thrown off the cars was beautiful. I wish I would've had my camera and a passenger to take the photo of the cars and the water. The photo I am using is not of today but as close as I could come to what I saw.<br /><br />What a beautiful day!Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-45317961036185889932007-08-29T22:11:00.001-05:002007-08-29T22:34:10.873-05:00Volkswagen and Apple...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RtY6lDXzZ5I/AAAAAAAAAEM/lytDreayw9Q/s1600-h/180701547653.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RtY6lDXzZ5I/AAAAAAAAAEM/lytDreayw9Q/s200/180701547653.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104331635905750930" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I always thought that amazing things would automatically happen with becoming an owner of a Volkswagen.<br /><br />For example, I thought that Volkswagen and Apple computers went hand in hand together somehow and if you bought a VW you would either need an apple computer and ipod or you were snooted at and then automatically pushed to receive a Mac computer to your own specifications and immediately receive an ipod with hundreds of songs already uploaded that would have an automatic hook up built directly into your VW. Therefore saving you from most definite snubbing from other VW owners and etc. Sadly, this is not the case. I do not own a Mac computer ANYMORE. But I do have an ipod, but that was bought a good 2-3 years after purchasing my<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RtY5JjXzZ4I/AAAAAAAAAEE/jwIJOqCvf_E/s1600-h/the+white+car+parking.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RtY5JjXzZ4I/AAAAAAAAAEE/jwIJOqCvf_E/s200/the+white+car+parking.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104330063947720578" border="0" /></a> VW. Maybe it's because I didn't buy my VW new that I didn't receive the Apple/VW welcome. However, I am happy all the same. I love my car, Maggie (short for Magnolia), and my little red ipod. My old Mac computer has been given away and now I'm with a Dell computer. Which I love because it's a flat screen and mostly because it was given to me by my Matt. (I paid for half of it after it was bought, but it's the thought that counts in the first place).<br /><br />So there you have it. My random thought of the day. It's been a long time since I shared one of those. Man does it feel good! Hopefully there will be more of randomness and less of the total quiet and stale entries.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-40354252251541473592007-07-23T17:31:00.000-05:002007-07-23T17:44:02.709-05:00Looking for a good Charity?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RqUut9CuKiI/AAAAAAAAAD8/R7JNRZxWx_s/s1600-h/DSC01228.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/RqUut9CuKiI/AAAAAAAAAD8/R7JNRZxWx_s/s200/DSC01228.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090526320827181602" border="0" /></a><br />How about a charity for single mothers/fathers who work full time, but make just over the cut off for state aid. Also, ones who don't receive support from their children's fathers/mothers. These people (me included) have a very rough time meeting their financial needs every month. So, call me selfish, but I'm going to give this a shot. I'm reaching for anything. Every month I get to the point of 'I can't do this anymore!'. I don't know what to do. Caleb doesn't even have health care because I can't afford the monthly payments, however I make about $200 over the state income limits for Medical assistance.<br /><br />If anyone could help out with the following things I would be most grateful:<br /><br />Gas and Food gift cards<br />Over due electric bills<br />Over due Child care bills<br />Health care for Caleb<br />Testing for Autism for Caleb or information on where I might find testing for free<br /><br /><br />If anyone giving would like a painting or babysitting or help around the yard for their donations I would gladly help out!Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-9129467227460773982007-07-18T22:15:00.000-05:002007-07-18T22:23:56.761-05:00Two songs, they may be old, that describe how I feel right now...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Rp7ZDLpOIkI/AAAAAAAAAD0/IGNMlW_VZmE/s1600-h/putitbacktogether.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Rp7ZDLpOIkI/AAAAAAAAAD0/IGNMlW_VZmE/s200/putitbacktogether.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088743277663756866" border="0" /></a><br />Remy Zero - 'Save Me'<br /><br />I feel my wings have broken in your hands<br />I feel the words unspoken inside<br /><br />When they pull you under<br />And I would give you anything you want<br />Well all I wanted<br />All my dreams have fallen down<br />Crawling around somebody save me<br />And two warm hands break right through me<br />Somebody save me<br />I don't care how you do it<br />Just stay<br />Stay<br />Come on<br />I've been waiting for you<br /><br />I see the world has folded in your heart<br />I feel the waves crash down inside<br /><br />And they pull me under<br />I would give you anything you want<br />Well all I wanted<br />And all my dreams have fallen down<br />Crawling around somebody save me<br />And two warm hands break right through me<br />Somebody save me<br />I don't care how you do it<br />Just stay<br />Stay<br />Come on<br />I've been waiting for you<br /><br />And all my dreams are on the ground<br /><br />Crawling around somebody save me<br />And two warm hands break right through me<br />Somebody save me<br />I don't care how you do it<br />Just save me<br /><br />I've made this whole world shine for<br />Just stay<br />Stay<br />Come on<br />I'm still waiting for you<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Rp7ZC7pOIjI/AAAAAAAAADs/Ej_M2UF67y4/s1600-h/ilovethissong.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Rp7ZC7pOIjI/AAAAAAAAADs/Ej_M2UF67y4/s200/ilovethissong.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088743273368789554" border="0" /></a><br />Avril Lavigne- 'I'm with you'<br /><br />I'm standing on the bridge<br />I'm waiting in the dark<br />I thought that you'd be here by now<br />There's nothing but the rain<br />No footsteps on the ground<br />I'm listening but there's no sound<br /><br />Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?<br />Won't somebody come take me home?<br /><br />(Chorus)<br />It's a damn cold night!<br />Trying to figure out this life<br />Won't you take me by the hand<br />Take me somewhere new<br />I don't know who you are<br />But I... I'm with you<br />I'm with you<br /><br />(Mmm..)<br /><br />I'm looking for a place<br />I'm searching for a face<br />Is anybody here I know?<br />'Cause nothing's going right<br />And everything’s a mess<br />And no one likes to be alone<br /><br />Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?<br />Won't somebody come take me home?<br /><br />(CHORUS)<br /><br />Oh!<br /><br />Why is everything so confusing?<br />Maybe I'm just out of my mind<br />Yeah.. yeah.. yeah!..yeah.. yeah,<br />yeah.. yeah, yeah yeah,YEAH...<br />It's a damn cold night<br />Trying to figure out this life<br />Won't you take me by the hand<br />Take me somewhere new<br />I don't know who you are<br />But I....!<br />I'm with YOU...<br />I'm with YOU...<br />Take me by the hand<br />Take me somewhere new<br />I don't know who you are<br />But I!<br /><br />I'm with you...<br />I'm with you...<br /><br />Take me by the hand<br />Take me somewhere new<br />I don't know who you are<br />But I<br />I'm with you<br />I'm with you<br /><br />I'm with youMelodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13243748.post-69574653244837187462007-07-03T20:01:00.000-05:002007-07-03T20:20:01.681-05:00Something that needs to be said...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ror1txb4iFI/AAAAAAAAADk/XwVje-umBdI/s1600-h/whoareyou.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_Rp1QmbElGec/Ror1txb4iFI/AAAAAAAAADk/XwVje-umBdI/s200/whoareyou.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083145296154232914" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The awakening...<br /><br />Going through old emails and finding my way to my friend Jon's blog I encountered an awakening that brought tears to my eyes. Lately I've found nothing really exciting about my faith or life. It has been incredibly hard and joyful too. In the times when things seem the most bleak there is always something that stands out of the gray and adds life and vibrant color. Like getting flowers in the dead of winter. Or tanning in the middle of January. Experiencing another country completely. For me, experiencing another country was only one of my bright moments this season. The one shortly afterward was my new job.<br /><br />Many of you know of my trials with previous jobs. I loved the work, but my bosses and co-workers (only some of them) weren't what my ideal work place would be. I've moved around a lot in the sign industry. When, before moving here, in my entire job career my jobs number 3 and two of them were re-hires at different times. I've never felt at home.<br /><br />But let me tell you about my new job. After losing my last job due to an anxiety attack and the fact I couldn't stop the tears from falling in frustration. I answered a craigs list add for a job I didn't entirely read up on. As it turns out, in the interview, it appears that they were looking for a sign painter. Actually painting wooden, sandblasted signs! Upon hearing this, in the interview, I was excited and pulled out my hand painted portfolio from college. I was hired immediately following the interview and started the job the following Monday.<br /><br />I have to tell you, I have never been happier in a job setting as I do at Redwood signs. Sure, there are stressful times and things don't always go as planned. But the bigger picture is, is that I work with co-workers who are fast, want a good end product and strive for that in every job. My work life has been stress free since April 30th.<br /><br />This is my bright spot in a time of colorless blah.Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974807446708914162noreply@blogger.com0