Looking for a good Charity?

How about a charity for single mothers/fathers who work full time, but make just over the cut off for state aid. Also, ones who don't receive support from their children's fathers/mothers. These people (me included) have a very rough time meeting their financial needs every month. So, call me selfish, but I'm going to give this a shot. I'm reaching for anything. Every month I get to the point of 'I can't do this anymore!'. I don't know what to do. Caleb doesn't even have health care because I can't afford the monthly payments, however I make about $200 over the state income limits for Medical assistance.

If anyone could help out with the following things I would be most grateful:

Gas and Food gift cards
Over due electric bills
Over due Child care bills
Health care for Caleb
Testing for Autism for Caleb or information on where I might find testing for free


If anyone giving would like a painting or babysitting or help around the yard for their donations I would gladly help out!

Two songs, they may be old, that describe how I feel right now...

Remy Zero - 'Save Me'

I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken inside

When they pull you under
And I would give you anything you want
Well all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I've been waiting for you

I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside

And they pull me under
I would give you anything you want
Well all I wanted
And all my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I've been waiting for you

And all my dreams are on the ground

Crawling around somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save me

I've made this whole world shine for
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I'm still waiting for you


Avril Lavigne- 'I'm with you'

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

(Chorus)
It's a damn cold night!
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

(Mmm..)

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything’s a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

(CHORUS)

Oh!

Why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah.. yeah.. yeah!..yeah.. yeah,
yeah.. yeah, yeah yeah,YEAH...
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I....!
I'm with YOU...
I'm with YOU...
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I!

I'm with you...
I'm with you...

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I
I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm with you

Something that needs to be said...

The awakening...

Going through old emails and finding my way to my friend Jon's blog I encountered an awakening that brought tears to my eyes. Lately I've found nothing really exciting about my faith or life. It has been incredibly hard and joyful too. In the times when things seem the most bleak there is always something that stands out of the gray and adds life and vibrant color. Like getting flowers in the dead of winter. Or tanning in the middle of January. Experiencing another country completely. For me, experiencing another country was only one of my bright moments this season. The one shortly afterward was my new job.

Many of you know of my trials with previous jobs. I loved the work, but my bosses and co-workers (only some of them) weren't what my ideal work place would be. I've moved around a lot in the sign industry. When, before moving here, in my entire job career my jobs number 3 and two of them were re-hires at different times. I've never felt at home.

But let me tell you about my new job. After losing my last job due to an anxiety attack and the fact I couldn't stop the tears from falling in frustration. I answered a craigs list add for a job I didn't entirely read up on. As it turns out, in the interview, it appears that they were looking for a sign painter. Actually painting wooden, sandblasted signs! Upon hearing this, in the interview, I was excited and pulled out my hand painted portfolio from college. I was hired immediately following the interview and started the job the following Monday.

I have to tell you, I have never been happier in a job setting as I do at Redwood signs. Sure, there are stressful times and things don't always go as planned. But the bigger picture is, is that I work with co-workers who are fast, want a good end product and strive for that in every job. My work life has been stress free since April 30th.

This is my bright spot in a time of colorless blah.

You scored as Anarchism, <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'> Anarchism 100% Democrat 75% Socialist 75% Green 67% Communism 58% Nazi 25% Fascism 25% Republican 17% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

Back from Paris and Iceland

It has been about 2 weeks since we came back to the states from Iceland and Paris. I wanted to move over there! Just send Caleb!!! (and some clean clothes). It was beautiful there! Both places. I fell in love with Iceland even before we landed and then just being there... What an experience! It's such a different landscape that it feels surreal and 'moonish'. Paris in April was wonderful! It was expected to rain the whole time we were there, but we didn't see a drop. It was mid 70's even some 80's. I'll try to write more about a few events separately in my free time!

Ever wanted to know how to make Captian Crunch??

Matt and I discovered the secret combination....


Leini's Honey Weiss beer and Pink Cotton Candy!
We discovered this phenomenon at the twins second game of the season last night. The game was fun, but this was awesome!

New found talent...

Alright! Break out those jeans that have no designs on them, and let me at them! I think I found something that is a hot item. Wait for it..... Hand embroidered back pockets of jeans!
I found this talent when I went jeans shopping and found that I had come home with boring pockets without a design on them. I immediately got excited! I can design pockets! And then sew them myself. Which I did and here they are! Isn't it brilliant! Let me know if you would like custom jeans pockets. Since I'm just starting I'll probably do them for cheap. :)

Funny stuff

I have to admit the artist from exploding dog.com is hilarious... Awhile back I posted something referring to his trials with his laptop. Now it's about the iron bathtub in his attic. Please read and enjoy:

Cast Iron Bathtub.

(it includes photos)

Must see movies

We've seen a slew of movies lately... Some I can't even recall. However I do know that the movie that's like 'A mighty wind', the new one from the same creators 'Things to consider' had Matt and I yawning and falling asleep. We did watch it, though, after a long day of shoveling the driveway and sidewalk twice soooo.... yeah. Not what we expected!

The good: 'The science of sleep', 'The Departed', 'Flushed Away', 'Little Miss Sunshine', 'The illusionist', 'The Constant Gardener', 'Dirty Filthy Love'
The bizarre:'l'enfant', 'songs from the second floor'
The Good and Bizarre:'Running with Scissors'

What to write...

What to write that would be interesting... I have no idea. I seem to have lost my knack of writing out my feelings and/or thoughts. Things have been pretty rough for me lately. Rough for me and my little family. We've decided to postpone the wedding. A hard decision, but hopefully a good one. I feel a little lost and confused on the whole subject. I also feel that it is a raw and gaping wound exposed to everything. And things need to change... it seems everything needs to change. And I'm tired, emotionally, physically, blah blah blah. Rough times always seems to happen in the winter. Long and depressing as it is without having to work through what life brings. Anyway, there are good things happening as well. Caleb is doing well in school, I have some job prospects in the works, however all of them involve moving to other states like Texas, Florida, etc. It's exciting. During these times of 'hardship' I feel that God lets loose blessings or 'distractions' to help us see that life is a full range of spectrums that happen at the same time. For example postponeing the wedding and having new coporate job openings at the same time. It's crazy!

I guess I don't really have much more to say. Prayers about everything would certainly be most welcome. Along with anyone's input on counselors would be most welcomed.

Upcoming Artshow!

Hope to see you there!

Riverview Cafe

Elf me! Elf me!

Hey check this out, I just made a total elf of myself. Check me out by clicking the link below.

Yes, it is me, and yes, it is hilarious!

ELF.

I got bored... sorry.

My Celeb 'Twins'.

What kind of soul do I have???

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

For lack of better things to say or time to say them...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Boston
The West
North Central
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

And She said Ouch!!!!

This is the event that awaited me 20 minutes after getting to work this morning. Stupid work, Stupid sign, Stupid razor blade!

Got to work started to peel vinyl off of a sign. I decided that it was too much to just peel so I went and got a razor blade to help with the process. As I was scraping the vinyl off I decided to go and get a new blade to see if it would help take the vinyl off easier. Well... the blade stuck and then gave way. I felt it hit my arm but didn't know how bad until I opened my eyes. There were huge drops of purple/red blood on the sign. I looked at my arm and thought "Sh**!" I ran to the bathroom and started to wash it out where even more blood came gushing out of the wound on my wrist. As I'm seeing the blood rush out of my wrist I'm hoping that I didn't cut anything vital like the 'suicide' vein(s) or any tendons. I grab paper towels and run to the owner's office (Brian) and tell him that I "think I need to go to the emergency room". Brian asked Jen to take me, and off we went. We stopped at a near by clinic and while the nurse said that the bleeding had been controlled by the pressure that I was putting on the wound, that they couldn't have anyone see me right then and to head to the ER in downtown St. Paul. Back in the car we went and headed down to the ER of United hospital. Matt met me there and stayed with me throughout the ordeal of getting stitches, cleaning and a tetnus shot! I was terrified. I am extremely afraid of needles and shots. So, the cut wasn't so bad when thinking about a needle and thread going in and out of my skin. Ick, ick, ick.

The PA (physician's assisstant) was really cool. We talked about the TV show LOST as she put numbing stuff on the wound along with the stitching up part.

I'm doing well. My arm is sore from the Tetus shot, along with the wrist that contains 8 stitches in beautiful black thread. :) It was quite a cut. As you can see from the pictures.

What a way to start a Wednesday!

Yikes!

In need of some tear jerking laughter!

Yes, I've seem to run into some dry ground lately. It's not cool being sick. Matt and I are both sick, and it sucks! Share your hilarious stories please! The big ones so far (and you might have to talk to the sharers to hear them properly... but still very very funny) Mark's escape from the dogs on the way to school (this is classic told by heather), The woman who didn't know how to drive involving Nick, Amy, and a school bus (told by Amy), The story of me locking myself and Caleb in a frozen shut car (told by me), Heather's recap of her trip alone through a car wash Under the title 'embarrassed all over again'. (which isn't really funny, seriously heather. ;) ), That one time at bible study when everything involved poo... there are a lot of funny things that have happened with my friends. I love them dearly for it.

But I do have to tell you about my wonderful husband to be. He's a very smart man, however, day to day things sometimes elude him. But this makes me fall in love with him even more, even if, at times, it is a little frustrating. Here are a few things: I put on a tank top and immediately Matt said that he loved the color on me, and that he's never seen me wear it before. I didn't say a word as I pulled up a picture of me on our Texas trip. Classic. The next one, I forgot to give Amy her birthday card. Matt said "she had a birthday?" I said "Yes, Nick gave her a birthday party." Matt said "Did we go?" (We hadn't because we were in the car on the way home from my parents after a weekend where we brought all the kids up to see my parents place and to meet a few of my relatives who live near by, so of course we couldn't have gone.) Yes, this is just one of the many reasons why I love this man.

When do kids get so old??

Yup, first day of kindergarten was today. Crazy. I have a kindergartner. I can't believe it! Caleb was so excited about today, months ago. I almost didn't get a hug goodbye!

He loved it, can't wait to go back tomorrow, and now he's fast asleep.

Electronics that make our lives easier...

Okay, I'm not one to say that I'm 'good' with electronics, in fact, it would be somewhere as to 'they train me' as to how 'they' want to be treated. Seriously, it's insane. For as long as I can remember I've been a 'slave' to my electronics (in as non-slave sense as you can get). I had this stereo that was a hand me down. My friend said that CD player hadn't worked in months. I tried cleaning it. I put the disc in, but nothing would happen except this odd whirring sound and then nothing. One day I manually moved the cleaning disc around the playing tray and then tried. It worked. To my knowledge, the CD player still works, or has moved on to someone else.

Then I won a CD player at my high school prom and it worked through 3 moves, all with the original packaging. However, on the 4th move when I brought it back up from Tennessee it worked for a good couple of months and then after Caleb was born it stopped working completely. Not even my manual cleaning could get the CD player to work. The tape player worked/works beautifully.

Then there was a fiasco of getting a portable CD player for jogging and to listen in the house. The 'universal' adaptors that I bought didn't fit quite right so I cut off some of the plastic part and the adaptor fit perfectly. Except... now it wouldn't work without the adaptor in it. Not even with batteries and a headset. So I never took the adaptor out again. Until I moved to where I am now living and got a new car without a CD player in it. (Sad) I got the adaptor tape and hook up for the portable CD player in the car thing and tried it with my adaptor only CD player. It didn't work, and when I brought it back down into my basement studio, it had refused life from the adaptor it had only been seperated from for a matter of minutes. So I was Sans studio CD player for a bit.

So I went out and bought a new player. The correct adaptors for the player and it works beautifully in the car and out of the car. However the car stereo is another thing. As you could recall from a previous post about the grinding noise when the music is too quiet, or when it is too cold it'll grind as if complaining about being too cold and having to work. It's quite amusing and frustrating. Maybe someday I'll get a CD player for this car as well.

Next we move on to my computers.
The first computer given to me was from my first job down here at Budget Signs. I tried to install the software for my wireless mouse and keyboard (since this I haven't done it at all) and the computer stopped working. The software totally fried the processor. The computer is now used for parts and should be thrown away or recycled. Where does one do that? Recycle computers?

Offending Computer


The next computer was given to me by a good friend. It worked for the purposes of resume's of which it didn't get me any jobs, but it was there. It would turn on randomly. I would shut the computer down at night and during the night (and this became more noticable when it came to live in my room after the move) it would turn on. It was creepy. Since it has become Caleb's computer this has only happened once, and I think that he (Caleb) turned it on. Its missing a face plate because the computer was built for a burner, but the face plate wasn't. It's a sorry looking computer, but it did it's job the best it could.


I've also bought a portable CD player table top version for the kitchen. I now have a real stereo in the living room which belongs to Matt. I think I've only used 5 times for CD's and countless times for movies. It's great!

Offending TV

The old TV that I had (which now resides in Caleb's room for gillmore girl purposes) was/is a TV with VCR duo. Which was marvelous! For the first couple of months that I had it I couldn't figure out how to get the DVD player to work. It was all hooked up, ready to go and I couldn't for the life of me figure out that you had to press the 'input' button on the remote. Which, could've been tragic had I lost the remote. I didn't. Thank God! Throughout it's life it's aquired the distaste for VCR tapes. Having been fed crayons, peach pits, and other sorts of toys when mom wasn't looking or fast enough to get the tapes out of the VCR. It also has started to lose the audio capabilities somewhat. If the audio disappears one has to fool around in the back with the cables (this is the DVD function of the TV) and set them just so, so that the audio can be heard.

The TV that was brought over by Matt is great, except that it only gets a few channels and doesn't get Fox 29, WB 23, or PBS 17. Which are channels that Caleb and I have grown to love with Seasame street in the afternoons, Simpsons, and the gilmore girls. TV time at our house can be seen in two places depending on the night. Tuesdays I'm up in Caleb's room watching gilmore girls and he (caleb) enjoys the time we have together. Such a good little man. The TV rocks otherwise. And it does get the channel 5 which is most important, since it's the one that airs lost...

Why am I telling you these stories about my electronics? Because I'm not the only one out there who, even though they are frustrating things, loves the things that give us so much trouble. Here's what I'm talking about: 'My pwerbook g4'.

Aww!