Elf me! Elf me!

Hey check this out, I just made a total elf of myself. Check me out by clicking the link below.

Yes, it is me, and yes, it is hilarious!

ELF.

I got bored... sorry.

My Celeb 'Twins'.

What kind of soul do I have???

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

For lack of better things to say or time to say them...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Boston
The West
North Central
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

And She said Ouch!!!!

This is the event that awaited me 20 minutes after getting to work this morning. Stupid work, Stupid sign, Stupid razor blade!

Got to work started to peel vinyl off of a sign. I decided that it was too much to just peel so I went and got a razor blade to help with the process. As I was scraping the vinyl off I decided to go and get a new blade to see if it would help take the vinyl off easier. Well... the blade stuck and then gave way. I felt it hit my arm but didn't know how bad until I opened my eyes. There were huge drops of purple/red blood on the sign. I looked at my arm and thought "Sh**!" I ran to the bathroom and started to wash it out where even more blood came gushing out of the wound on my wrist. As I'm seeing the blood rush out of my wrist I'm hoping that I didn't cut anything vital like the 'suicide' vein(s) or any tendons. I grab paper towels and run to the owner's office (Brian) and tell him that I "think I need to go to the emergency room". Brian asked Jen to take me, and off we went. We stopped at a near by clinic and while the nurse said that the bleeding had been controlled by the pressure that I was putting on the wound, that they couldn't have anyone see me right then and to head to the ER in downtown St. Paul. Back in the car we went and headed down to the ER of United hospital. Matt met me there and stayed with me throughout the ordeal of getting stitches, cleaning and a tetnus shot! I was terrified. I am extremely afraid of needles and shots. So, the cut wasn't so bad when thinking about a needle and thread going in and out of my skin. Ick, ick, ick.

The PA (physician's assisstant) was really cool. We talked about the TV show LOST as she put numbing stuff on the wound along with the stitching up part.

I'm doing well. My arm is sore from the Tetus shot, along with the wrist that contains 8 stitches in beautiful black thread. :) It was quite a cut. As you can see from the pictures.

What a way to start a Wednesday!

Yikes!

In need of some tear jerking laughter!

Yes, I've seem to run into some dry ground lately. It's not cool being sick. Matt and I are both sick, and it sucks! Share your hilarious stories please! The big ones so far (and you might have to talk to the sharers to hear them properly... but still very very funny) Mark's escape from the dogs on the way to school (this is classic told by heather), The woman who didn't know how to drive involving Nick, Amy, and a school bus (told by Amy), The story of me locking myself and Caleb in a frozen shut car (told by me), Heather's recap of her trip alone through a car wash Under the title 'embarrassed all over again'. (which isn't really funny, seriously heather. ;) ), That one time at bible study when everything involved poo... there are a lot of funny things that have happened with my friends. I love them dearly for it.

But I do have to tell you about my wonderful husband to be. He's a very smart man, however, day to day things sometimes elude him. But this makes me fall in love with him even more, even if, at times, it is a little frustrating. Here are a few things: I put on a tank top and immediately Matt said that he loved the color on me, and that he's never seen me wear it before. I didn't say a word as I pulled up a picture of me on our Texas trip. Classic. The next one, I forgot to give Amy her birthday card. Matt said "she had a birthday?" I said "Yes, Nick gave her a birthday party." Matt said "Did we go?" (We hadn't because we were in the car on the way home from my parents after a weekend where we brought all the kids up to see my parents place and to meet a few of my relatives who live near by, so of course we couldn't have gone.) Yes, this is just one of the many reasons why I love this man.

When do kids get so old??

Yup, first day of kindergarten was today. Crazy. I have a kindergartner. I can't believe it! Caleb was so excited about today, months ago. I almost didn't get a hug goodbye!

He loved it, can't wait to go back tomorrow, and now he's fast asleep.

Electronics that make our lives easier...

Okay, I'm not one to say that I'm 'good' with electronics, in fact, it would be somewhere as to 'they train me' as to how 'they' want to be treated. Seriously, it's insane. For as long as I can remember I've been a 'slave' to my electronics (in as non-slave sense as you can get). I had this stereo that was a hand me down. My friend said that CD player hadn't worked in months. I tried cleaning it. I put the disc in, but nothing would happen except this odd whirring sound and then nothing. One day I manually moved the cleaning disc around the playing tray and then tried. It worked. To my knowledge, the CD player still works, or has moved on to someone else.

Then I won a CD player at my high school prom and it worked through 3 moves, all with the original packaging. However, on the 4th move when I brought it back up from Tennessee it worked for a good couple of months and then after Caleb was born it stopped working completely. Not even my manual cleaning could get the CD player to work. The tape player worked/works beautifully.

Then there was a fiasco of getting a portable CD player for jogging and to listen in the house. The 'universal' adaptors that I bought didn't fit quite right so I cut off some of the plastic part and the adaptor fit perfectly. Except... now it wouldn't work without the adaptor in it. Not even with batteries and a headset. So I never took the adaptor out again. Until I moved to where I am now living and got a new car without a CD player in it. (Sad) I got the adaptor tape and hook up for the portable CD player in the car thing and tried it with my adaptor only CD player. It didn't work, and when I brought it back down into my basement studio, it had refused life from the adaptor it had only been seperated from for a matter of minutes. So I was Sans studio CD player for a bit.

So I went out and bought a new player. The correct adaptors for the player and it works beautifully in the car and out of the car. However the car stereo is another thing. As you could recall from a previous post about the grinding noise when the music is too quiet, or when it is too cold it'll grind as if complaining about being too cold and having to work. It's quite amusing and frustrating. Maybe someday I'll get a CD player for this car as well.

Next we move on to my computers.
The first computer given to me was from my first job down here at Budget Signs. I tried to install the software for my wireless mouse and keyboard (since this I haven't done it at all) and the computer stopped working. The software totally fried the processor. The computer is now used for parts and should be thrown away or recycled. Where does one do that? Recycle computers?

Offending Computer


The next computer was given to me by a good friend. It worked for the purposes of resume's of which it didn't get me any jobs, but it was there. It would turn on randomly. I would shut the computer down at night and during the night (and this became more noticable when it came to live in my room after the move) it would turn on. It was creepy. Since it has become Caleb's computer this has only happened once, and I think that he (Caleb) turned it on. Its missing a face plate because the computer was built for a burner, but the face plate wasn't. It's a sorry looking computer, but it did it's job the best it could.


I've also bought a portable CD player table top version for the kitchen. I now have a real stereo in the living room which belongs to Matt. I think I've only used 5 times for CD's and countless times for movies. It's great!

Offending TV

The old TV that I had (which now resides in Caleb's room for gillmore girl purposes) was/is a TV with VCR duo. Which was marvelous! For the first couple of months that I had it I couldn't figure out how to get the DVD player to work. It was all hooked up, ready to go and I couldn't for the life of me figure out that you had to press the 'input' button on the remote. Which, could've been tragic had I lost the remote. I didn't. Thank God! Throughout it's life it's aquired the distaste for VCR tapes. Having been fed crayons, peach pits, and other sorts of toys when mom wasn't looking or fast enough to get the tapes out of the VCR. It also has started to lose the audio capabilities somewhat. If the audio disappears one has to fool around in the back with the cables (this is the DVD function of the TV) and set them just so, so that the audio can be heard.

The TV that was brought over by Matt is great, except that it only gets a few channels and doesn't get Fox 29, WB 23, or PBS 17. Which are channels that Caleb and I have grown to love with Seasame street in the afternoons, Simpsons, and the gilmore girls. TV time at our house can be seen in two places depending on the night. Tuesdays I'm up in Caleb's room watching gilmore girls and he (caleb) enjoys the time we have together. Such a good little man. The TV rocks otherwise. And it does get the channel 5 which is most important, since it's the one that airs lost...

Why am I telling you these stories about my electronics? Because I'm not the only one out there who, even though they are frustrating things, loves the things that give us so much trouble. Here's what I'm talking about: 'My pwerbook g4'.

Aww!

Blue Moon, the summer drink.

That and a nice New Castle... Yum.

The art show went okay. Thanks to those who made an effort to get out to it and supported your local artist and musican. :) I'm sure there will be more joint shows so keep checking back for them!

As it is MPR's time of recruitment I've come to reflect the 'duties' of becoming an adult and what I think is important to me.

#1. Family. Cultivating a mixed family has been a challenge on both ends, but it is coming together beautifully.

#2. Supporting Friends in their dreams. I love supporting my friends (and my... wow... I almost said husband! soon enough, soon enough... Boyfriend) in their ventures.

#3. Experiencing life and finding the really, really good parts, people, food, etc. and embracing them. I couldn't think of a better place than sitting around at the lake playing music, eating, laughing and enjoying one another's company. That is where the true pearls of life are found.

#4. Supporting local music. That means, yes, I am a member of MPR. (and I got a t-shirt and a summer pack on the way... hey! gifts help). The current is awesome. I've listened to it from day one. Thanks to Joe to introduced me to it.

#5. The creation of nature. There is just something about summer that makes me want to not be indoors at all. I've aquired herbs and have a pretty good herb garden going. I believe I have at least 5 different kinds of basil. Yum! Fresh basil on Pizza is AWESOME!!!

I wanted to update you all on a couple of things before I disappear for another few weeks... ;)

My surgery was successful. I no longer have any part of the HPV virus in my body! Praise God! I'm now working at FastSigns in Invergrove Heights. It's a store that I've worked at before and was welcomed back with open and excited arms. I'm also getting better pay and more apprieciation for the work that I do. It's a huge difference from where I was at in Bloomington.

With that, I hope that you all are enjoying your summer!

I know I am.

Art show details!

Friday, June 9, Is a collaborative artshow 'opening' and music by Matthew Fox. The show is at the "720 Loft Space" at 718-720 Central Ave. in Minneapolis. Hennepin north to Central; left on Central; up on the right you'll see a sign for Twin Cities Office Supply and it's just upstairs. We'll have a few drinks and snacks but feel free to BYOB to consume or share. Doors will open about 7:15 and Matt will perform about 8. This is an all ages show. Cover is a freewill donation to cover expenses and pay a couple of starving artists' bills. ;-)

Here is a link for directions on mapquest:
Map to show

It should be a great time!

Hope to see some of you there.

~Melody

Artshow Announcement!

Yes! I'm back to showing my art. Well, at least I'm starting to get back into it with the help of my wonderful boyfriend Matt. My next show will be June 9th (Friday Night)at the 720 Loft Central. Or something like that. If you are out and about for Art-a-whirl I believe they are going to have the space open and my art will be displayed. Very cool! :) Here's a recent email from the loft:

Hello everyone, I'm mailing to let you know about the
show at the space on Saturday may 20th. It be our
unofficial art-a-whirl night, with the Pan
Metropolitan Trio, featuring Tuba, Stick, & drums.
And the 2/3 trio featuring double bass, drums, guitar,
& wurlitzer. A night of Jazz standards as well as
free compositions. Also we have a new featured
artist, Melody Sanders you can check out her work at
( look under
the studio link) We are very excited to have her work
on display. We will have wine for this show but feel
free to bring an extra bottle as we may run out.(food
as always) 21+ 5$ @ the door hope to see you there,
e-mail us if you have any questions. SPREAD THE
WORD!!!!! Thanks 720space.
For directions:
<
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=720+Central+Ave,+Minneapolis+MN>

Also, Matt will be playing a solo show that night. I think Wine and small snacks or something, will be served. Also a small cover ($5?) that is still to be determined.

A side note: My surgery yesterday went well. I however ache and am not up to full health, I am glad that it's over. I went back to work today, if that gives any indication of how things went. :) Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts!

Maybe I should keep this to myself... Then again, maybe not.

Has anyone heard of HPV? The virus that causes cervical cancer after many years of going untreated? Come on... Anyone? I believe they even have a public service announcement playing on some broadcasting stations. This being said... I found out after my last pap that it came back abnormal. The other testing that I go through came back negative, but finding that my normal routine check up showed something abnormal, it freaked me out a bit. I was briefed on the causes and possible results of further testing. They said that I was a 'mid-severe' case and that they wanted me in as soon as I could. Having no money and no health insurance at this time I was over joyed when I found out that they had a grant to pay for the procedure, and even more happy when I found out that I qualified for it. They performed a colposcopy which resulted in a biopsy which came back with the information that indeed I had HPV. I scheduled an appointment for a LEEP procedure, which is today at 2pm. Am I nervous? Yes. But I'm thankful that what they found was a small amount of the virus. Although severe, it hadn't gone into the cancerous stages yet. And they are able to remove the infected areas without much effort or concern of it coming back. Yay! Praise God!

Matt has been very supportive. I couldn't have asked for a better guy/boyfriend/potential husband.

Just thought you all should know. :-)

I'm jaded, I can never work for you again...

It is with great sadness that I leave Pete. Tomorrow is my last day at bloomington Fastsigns. It is one that will be filled with mostly great joy and relief. But also a slight sadness for the co-workers that I am leaving.

Here ends this chapter of my life.

Employees tire of boss exclaiming victories over cleaning their desk.

There's my shot at an onion title. Pretty good, eh? My co-workers thought it pretty amusing. 1 point for me.

Change is huge lately! Let me tell you! It's crazy with us 'were single' bluer folk. Heather and Mark got engaged and started a plethora of things... Amy and Nick are now engaged and Matt and I are moving in together with a tentative wedding date, August of 2007. Anyway, big changes. About a year ago Heather and Mark were dating, while Nick, Amy, me (all single) and said Mark were heading off to the boundary waters. Now, we're all coupled, happily I might add. Yay us! Thank you Father above for your blessings of friendship, kinship, and partnership.


The other day, on my way to work, I almost hit a turkey crossing/flying across the road. Yes, apparently at Randolph and Lexington intersection there is a high chance that you might catch a turkey on your windshield. At least this time I didn't think it was a flying reindeer...

The pain will only last a second

Well... It has been a long time since I've written. Sorry to all who make this a regular stop only to find that I've nothing witty to say, or anything new to say even. I've been rather busy. Life busy. Two weeks ago Matt's back started hurting, and a week ago it started getting really acute pain. So I've been helping him with things, trying to get my roommate out... Which after a heated argument spurned by his drunken fury. I called the cops last Thursday night and he's been out of the house ever since. Still needs to pick up most of his things, but he hasn't stayed here since Thursday. And yeah, I think that's it.

Back to Matt. Matt's surgery went beautifully. Well, the surgeon called me at work to say
that it was an 'uneventful' surgery. Which is good.

Matt is doing okay, extremely tired though. The past two nights he hasn't
been able to find a comfortable position to sleep in, I'm glad that the
surgery was today. I don't/didn't like seeing him in pain. Now we're
starting in on the recovery pains... Which, I'm hoping, aren't as acute as
the pre-surgery ones... :)

Thanks for all the prayers... And the ones that are still coming. The
pre-surgery stress was a little intense. Mostly for the following reasons:
#1. The staff at the surgeon's weren't very helpful in letting Matt
know what and how to go about getting labs and testing done before surgery,
or even a date for that matter! #2. Lab work had to be done in two places,
the clinic, and the hospital. #3. Today, they were going to have him take
x-rays (the same ones that he took on Monday) and blood testing (the same
that they did Monday) because no one was talking to anyone and couldn't find
the paperwork on them. I'm glad that Matt didn't tell me this before the
surgery started... I don't think I could've concentrated on anything. But
he is doing well. Despite all the misplaced paperwork.

And I'm exhausted. But happy. I know that I wouldn't want anything else going on in my life than taking care of someone who means as much to me as Matt. It hasn't been a burden, or an annoyance. He needs/ed me, and sometimes that's just the best feeling in the world. Especially when I know whole heartedly that he would reciprocate if the rolls were reversed.

I am blessed.

'Surprises'

This weekend has been a challenge. I'm almost excited about going back to work tomorrow... ALMOST. I decided to kick my roommate out. It hasn't been a good situation and questioning a recent hunch led me to the point of losing it, and telling him that he had to get out. Ever since then we've had heated conversations about why I want him to move out. I feel uncomfortable and unsafe with him living here. I'd rather error on the side of safety when it comes to Caleb. I think any parent would.

My parents were in town this Friday and Saturday. They just got back from Florida. After telling them about the roommate situation, and mom bringing up a good question about him, and the telling him to get out (by me), we heeded out to the conservatory at the Como Zoo. What a wonderful place. Amidst feeling heavy and drained this place lightened my mood, and calmed me. My Creator cares about my well being. Mom and dad offered to take Caleb for the week or until the roommate is gone. I thought, after a bit, that this would be the best for all involved. When it was time to go it was an awkward goodbye. Caleb could sense that something wasn't right about the situation and him leaving, I miss him terribly because of it, and my mom says that he feels the same. Your prayers in this situation would be most helpful and greatly appreciated.

So now I'm looking for a roommate once again. Maybe I'll make it into a studio for others to get away in... Something. Someone.

Other surprises that I've come to experience... Matt. My family. His kids (Matt's). Friday night we all got together and made pizzas. My parents, Caleb, Matt's kids, Matt and I. It was fun. Very fun. My parents greeted the kids with kindness and open arms. They laughed, played hide and seek. We watched movies and ate. Mom bought them cookies, cookies especially for them. :) I love my family. It was good to see how well they got along. And the hopes of Matt and I's relationship in the future was once again saved from 'deal breaker' status. Sometimes I wonder and marvel about how smooth this is going. I'm amazed at how well he and I seem to fit each other. It's crazy good. And after two and a half years of being single, being very picky, being let down, and on numerous one time dates it's great to finally feel that I've found someone who fits me as well as Matt does. What's great, is that he feels the same way about me.

Sorry if my lack of words is showing... I've been busy with life, not much to muss and mull over anymore. I feel kind of dry and boring as far as my thoughts and words go. Instead of being full of life I'm just giving details... that sucks. I have inspiration to write, but then I don't have time for it or by the time I've exhausted everything that I've needed to do that day I totally forget what I wanted to write about. Which makes it frustrating when I log in to blogger only to find myself drawing a blank as to why I actually signed in. It's been a vicious circle these past couple of weeks. Maybe with a little more free time now that Caleb is gone I'll have more of a chance to write and explain my feelings with better words than just events.

Please pray for the roommate/studio situation. I'm a loss for words as to what my next action should be here. Thank you for your time.

Chocolate and Penguins.

I'm not a robot... I'm real.

I'm going to place a passage of the book 'surprise me' by Terry Esau. The 30 day surprise me experiment thingy that my small group is doing.

Keep in mind that this is practically right on to my thoughts about my faith. And it's excited me to hear that there are others (or another at least) that believe this exact way...

Day 26: Stepford Christians: "... That's why it's so pathetically sad that we Christians have become robotic in this culture. I'm pointing the finger at me too. We act, we play roles a part we've read about, a part we've been told we're supposed to play. We're ceramic plaster-of-poser. We may look good to the casual observer, but what good is the casual observance when you're looking for ultimate substance? As long as we are just role-playing, the only participants we're going to bring on board are other role-playing, bitpart thespians who are looking for nonthinking parts. We've got enough nonthinkers in Christianity. We need genuine, questioning wrestlers of the faith. We need people who doubt their way to belief. People who question their way into ownership of their faith. People who earn the right to say, this is who I am, so far, because this is who I've discovered God to be, so far." "... We have too many Christian robots. We need Christians who fail and admit they fail. We need Christians who admit that they don't know everything. We need more human Christians. We need more Christian humans. Let's wrestle our beliefs to the ground. Then let's get up and do all over again. Let's be okay with the struggle, with not knowing everything. Do we really want a God that we can explain? Do we want a God that we can quantify? If we could, wouldn't we be him? I don't want that God. If I can figure him out, then I don't want him. He'd be too average, too regular, too human. That God is a poser. The robots can have that God. He's not worthy of my devotion. I want a big God that blows my mind into tiny bits when I even attempt to capture him. I want a God who's a surprise machine, a conundrum, a continual mystery. That's the God that has captured me. I know for a fact that He doesn't resolve, at least in the way that I understand resolution. And I'm becoming more and more okay with that. I'd better, because there are no other options."

Isn't that amazing? I got goose bumps and tears formed in my eyes. Which is hard to hide when you are sitting in the middle of a sign shop work area during your lunch. Nonetheless there I was being touched or surprised that another human Christian could explain what I've been thinking/feeling for a few years now. And have only begun to form my own opinion of my faith. Here is a blog post that I wrote that faintly hits upon depth about my faith. Not that it's a huge deal about what I think. But, there it is anyway.

Your Receiving line...

Upon my February hair cut my awesome stylist (although not as awesome as Jonathan my stylist back in Detroit Lakes), Stephanie used this cool product in my hair. 'Beach hair' if you will. Crushed and ground bamboo mixed in with this type of 'goo'/gel to make your hair feel and smell (Hawaiian tropics tanning oil) like you've spend the day at the beach. Only get this! You've just taken a shower and are squeaky clean. Quite cool if you ask me. Sadly, this is as close to any beach as I'm going to get in the middle of winter. But it's working. My small bit of summer fits in a jar and is applied daily, and smelled as often as my hair falls in my face. Yum.

Going through this 'Surprise me' God book has been interesting. I read the book and I wonder how my life could be as eventful as the author. I go to work, I pick up Caleb, and I come home. Save the few times that I have small group, game night, bluer, etc. It's pretty much the same. Being an author it seems like he has a lot more free time than one could hope for, therefore he has more time to put aside to talk to friends who pop into his life. Resulting in more 'surprises' aka grounding moments that lead back to God and His plans, His secrets, His inner workings weaving through our thoughts and actions in any given day.

My results so far? Nothing as interesting as he has placed in his book. And I can't decide if it's because I'm not seeing the opportunities to act and be surprised, or if I just can't bring myself to push further into the unknown, the 'non-comfort' zone to push my faith in a direction that would cause those 'ah ha' moments.

That being said... on to other things...

Friday (last Friday) Matt and I were able to find a last minute babysitter so we could head out to see my favorite band... 'Halloween, Alaska'. I love them, even though the new album is less than I expected from them. Their music has a certain awe about it for me. If I could encapsulate myself in an album it would be Halloween, Alaska's 'Halloween, Alaska' CD. I love it, know it, feel it, and for what it's worth live how the music feels and sounds. If that's even possible, even comprehensible.

I feel like there is so much to say... so much has gone on since I last wrote. I've made some changes on my artist website... the look is a little more... um, different. :)

This weekend I have plans to go vintage clothing shopping... I can't wait!

My blue eyes sparkle even more...

Yes, it is safe to say that this Valentines day (even though I'm highly anti-valentines day due to the crappy hype of it all) was one of the best. (I mean you can't top Tommy giving out Valentines and you being the only girl that got one from him, that's high up there.) However there is a new contender for this place in valentines day history... Yes, Matt. How brilliant of you to think of him instantly. Is it because he's my boyfriend that you thought of him? Thought so. Crazy. ;)

Valentines day dawned like them all (normal days that is). Besides for the ice/snow that covered the ground in the morning the day turned out pretty great. I had a plan for Matt's car, covering it in magnets that said 'i love you'. (yes, the i isn't capitalized. Why? Because in a relationship neither the 'i' nor 'you' is any better than the other.) I totally almost got caught by him. He was out having a smoke and I thought he wouldn't have been up that early. (he lives across the street from me). As I opened the door to plaster magnetics all over his vehicle I stopped short with the view of him standing in front of his apartment building. Crap! Thinking he totally saw me I ducked back into my house and waited. Finally I got to the car, which I had to scrap the ice off just to get the magnets to stick. Then it was off to drop Caleb off with his many goodies for his classmates, then off to work. I got a text message exclaiming that I totally 'rock!' and that he's leaving his 'magnetic love notes' on all day. How sweet! :)

The day goes, he calls to make sure that we're having lunch a 'short one' around 1ish. Then the odd things began to happen at the shop. Pete, in the middle of helping a customer, comes up to me kind of in a huff telling me that I need to run to Johnson's (our engraving materials supplier) to get the materials that we NEED for today. I'm like okay... at this point it's 12:30. I'm thinking why can't this wait until I'm back from lunch. I reluctantly agree and put on my coat and head out the door. The drive is nice. I'm feeling PMS-ish and feeling like I really need to get away from people for awhile, for some reason I should be happier being that is valentines day and I do, infact have a date. However, one cannot totally control the hormones of the 'week before'.

I get to Johnson's and tell the receptionist who I am with, she breaks into an odd smile and calls to the back to bring up the materials. THEN... starts talking with me like I'm an old friend! I'm thinking... what the heck is wrong with this woman!? Did she get so overwhelmed with Valentines day that it's gone to her head??? She's never this friendly. I immediately think of telling Pete and Jamie and what a kick they'll get out of how she acted. Crazy woman! The materials arrive and I'm spared a futher conversation that was headed toward dominos and how the superbowl is their biggest selling day and etc.

I get back to the shop, it's now about 12:45. I look around to see if Matt has gotten there yet. No sign of him. I walk into the shop and start to put my jacket away when I look back at Pete and Jamie at the front. They're exchanging odd looks and looking back at me. 'What's going on?' I ask. Then they break into a play act of Jamie getting stabbed by Pete's Swiss army knife. Hilarious and the usual stuff that happens here, but it's odd all the same. I roll my eyes and head over to the engraver to start the jobs that 'need' to get done today.

As I'm starting the engraver Jamie comes over to me and starts talking about how she hates Valentines day. (one thing that you should know about the engraver; it's really hard to hear things happening in the shop behind me, and usually when people come up to me if I'm working on the computer I look up and am greatly startled. The noise from the machine itself and the fan that's right next to it drown out a lot, if not most, of background noise. Conversation dwindles and Jamie stays by me, then she starts talking about this woman and how she wanted banners for this weekend, but she wanted this special stand that we didn't have. And how Jamie didn't want to order it because the woman was a bitch and bollocks like that... I'm like...'what? Why are you telling me this???' I hear some rustling behind me and assume that it's Wendy or Sue unpacking something from UPS. Then, Matt appears, Jamie smiles, and the shop is relatively quiet. Aside from the blaring engraver and fan. He motions for me to look at the production table and there... in all their glory were my favorite foods that he had spent the past hour driving around and picking up to surprise me. The whole shop had been in on this! As it turns out even the woman at Johnsons knew about it and was asked to distract me for a few minutes. It was insane!!! I loved it! Being someone that often dreams of surprise parties and such and never having them happen this was fun to experience. I had thought that the whole thing might've been a set up. But then I thought why would they tell the Johnson's lady and boxed the whole thing to my crazy imagination. But no, it was all true.



The set up as I looked at the table and Matt's huge smile and nervously shaking hands (he's adorable) was this: wine glasses filled with strawberry shake, a pottery bowl full of French fries and a smaller bowl filled with ketchup. (this is my favorite comfort food). Next there were hot wings. And then a pizza in the shape of (gag, and awww!) a heart with my favorite toppings. Of which (the red pepper) wasn't available to put on the pizza and Matt had somehow persuaded the place to cut up and put on the pizza because it was valentines day... He's great. I really couldn't believe my eyes.

I'm happy. Not because he went to the trouble and the thoughtfulness to surprise me, but with him in general. We fit so well that it's crazy. Things work out, we work them out, we try, we give, we take. It's amazing. I think he's amazing.



Thank you Matt for a great Valentines day. I hope there are many more!

And the grand finale? Wretching into the toilet...

Yes, I was sick... Actually sick-queasy- for a solid week. I took Monday off (as stated in my last post) and felt great, but still felt queasy throughout most of last week. I found that if I kept my stomach full that it didn't feel as bad. Thursday morning dawned and I went to work. The day just kept on getting worse and worse. My stomach cramped up and I felt more and more like I would be hurling myself to the back of the shop to the open mouth of the toilet. Here's one thing... That would be gross... Work toilets disgust me. Maybe fore the one and only reason of none proper toilet etiquette is followed upon the boss use in the mornings or whenever she goes poo. Instead of being humanistic and leaving the fan on, she leaves the door wide open and insists on spraying the foul odor with an even fouler smelling lysol spray. It's enough to make one gag and wonder how much of a bad atmosphere this is to work in. I nearly lost it out on the production table last Thursday upon smelling this stank. Awful. Simply awful.

I left shortly after noon on Thursday and spent the rest of the day in bed. Matt came over and read while I slept and ran to the bathroom as my stomach failed to hold anything down. That night wasn't the best. And as Friday started I knew that I wasn't going to make it through a day of work. I dropped off Caleb at Daycare/Preschool and headed back to my bed. I don't even think I put on make up or other clothes than my jammies... I don't even think I put on a bra... Sorry, too much info. I slept until about 2, got up and headed out for last minute things for the game night that night. That lasted about an hour and then I was back in my jammies, back in bed until Matt got off of work. We cleaned the house, made supper and a snack for the party. The party was awesome! I love my friends dearly. We had a great time, I felt great, and laughter was in the air.

Saturday morning... Back to feeling like crap. So I stayed in bed most of the day until bluer set up that night. Sunday, my first normal day where no queasiness occurred. Happy day!

Surprise me God... Day one... Kind of

As my small group embarked on this journey last night, (book in hand), I started to ponder it's meaning. The deeper meaning of asking God, 'Surprise me', is to further include Him in your daily life, to see Him in the small mundane things. I think I've already accomplished this. I know He is there in the busyness of my life, ever watching how I handle situations, always over joyed when giving Him thanks. But nonetheless I gave this a shot. Even though, quite frankly, I think I'm already there...

This morning was a quite one, that is until I placed my new Sigur Ros CD in the player and headed out of St. Paul on Hwy 5. There's something about driving right under an airplane that is totally out of this world. Especially the big ones. It seems to shake my whole being. It's amazing. Continuing on through my drive. Sigur Ros's 'Glosoli' brought tears to my eyes. For some reason I had envisioned a long wait (living life if you will) before being able to see and be close to my creator, my Lord, my King. And then being able to run to Him with wild abandon. It was a truly beautiful moment.

Today was probably a terrible mess. Yesterday I called in sick and upon getting to work this morning I found out that Pete and Jamie had also called in sick, not only today, but yesterday as well... So for the past 2 days the shop has only had 3-4 workers in it. Today was a mess, but I didn't really let anything get to me. One can't when the boss seems to lose her head over every little thing. I just step above it, clear my head, and hope that someday soon she'll realize that her skitzo behavior is costing the shop valuable business.

Another thing that God revealed to me was how blessed I was yesterday to have taken the day off. I fell in love with life again. Things went beautifully, along with it being such a beautiful day. I went out to lunch with my boyfriend and then headed out to the rosedale mall to exchange some jeans. It was great! The whole day went beautifully... I bought paint, headed over to my favorite art shop (wet paint) and found that my drawing pad that usually goes for $15 was on sale for $8! I bought wine at the wine thief, which by the way is a beautiful wine shop. I love Solo Vino but it's good to find an alternate shop. Anyway, upon coming home hands full of paint and canvas, I glanced up at the mail box filled with small bubble mailers. The CDs that I ordered last week! Yay! I started painting and listening to new music. Followed up by spending time with Matt and all his geekiness about guitars. I loved it. :)

It was a beautiful day. A much needed day. Thank you stomach and my heavenly father for allowing me to have it to myself.

I've never wanted to be in a band more... with this name success is imminent.

It has become our spot, our little cozy place of refuge from life, kids, schedules. A secret get away. Even though the mannequin that greets you at the door often, if not always, catches me off guard out of the corner of my eye. I swear that someday I'm going to take it out in a fury of thinking that it's actually someone standing there.

We were here to discuss trips, get togethers, the norm for busy people. A call to mum, a call about the house, the calendar spread out over months. Free days were sparse and taken up fast. The pen, seemingly to have a mind of it's own, cautiously marked out dates inspired by conversations, thoughts and ideas that were suggested. The calendar closed and the thoughts returned back to the mindset that our short escape from the world was close to being over. *sigh*

"I love you."

The smile that crept across the face for those random words... Priceless.

My son will have the fish...

Caleb and I dined on fish tonight. Coming from a family who was raised on a resort, fish and fish frys are a common place happening in the summer, and whenever there is enough fish to feed a good group of us. I love it. When I was 16 I out ate my uncle. So to this day I'm crowned queen of fish eating, also terribly teased that they 'don't have enough fish to feed everyone.... And me.' But it's okay, I wear the title triumphantly. Tonight, however, I believe I found my match. Caleb is quite taken with the stuff. And rightly so, it's in his genes. As he came back into the kitchen asking for his second piece of fish when I had barely begun my first, was something of great satisfaction that I had finally found something that he would eat. We had salads with our fish, which isn't common. There is usually boiled potatoes (we didn't have them) and this awesome bean salad that has kidney beans, peppers, sometimes celery, onions, and Mayo. It's fantastic with fish... But salad did great. Which is why when I started in on my second piece of fish I didn't know if I would be able to finish it or not. I had dug into the salad so fast that the fish merely seemed a side dish. (it could also show that I haven't been eating a lot of fruits and veggies lately, which is bad I know... But I don't have the money for it right now and Caleb needs better nutrition than me, so I sacrifice).

While eating, I started reading an column in the Rake about Minnesotan nudists and the like. In one part he referred to the Greeks and how they trained naked for the Olympics... And such I came to this key thing... The word "gymnasium" actually comes from the Greek word "gymnos", meaning 'Nude'. Isn't that interesting??? Maybe you all knew that already, I probably did too, but tonight, for some reason, it was quite amusing.

The article was fascinating and pretty well written. I, however, will keep my nudity to my own house to the eyes of no one but my own, and the occasional accidental happening when Caleb walks into the bathroom.

Looking back upon my fish and salad, I think I'll keep the rosemary out of my fish batter. It was a little much.

Who am I to say it's right?

"i am beginning to think that "judgment day" is less about god sentencing us to any particular place so much as us receiving exactly what we desire. so we should be begging him to change our hearts now so that they do not betray us when the eternal choice is given."

This is taken from my friend Jon's blog.

Something has to be said for close minded people. When I read this I nearly cried. I'd been trying to think of the best words to describe how I felt about the scriptures and how it depicts things. The 'judgment day' being one of them. Sometimes I even question if this is all just a cruel joke that I'm falling for, and then I think of how life would be different if I didn't believe that my Father in Heaven wasn't looking out for me. I know He guides my steps and knows my thoughts. That excites me, the idea of George W. spying on me, well... it's on the lowest of lows and almost descends deeper into the shadows of crossing the fragile line of love and hate.

More on this being a cruel joke. Being a single mother and finding that everything is 10 times more real when you have to deal with situations on your own with no one to emotionally and physically share the burdens of raising a child and being head of the household. It's mentally draining. So draining that sometimes thinking that I've been fooled somehow into believing that God is real sometimes makes me cry and waver as to my thinking that this is correct. But then I re-analyze my life. I wouldn't live it any different, I wouldn't cry out for anything less or more from myself. If we're wrong about God, I guess the truth will come in the end, won't it? All I know is that when following Him I feel complete, comforted that He is there, and has something for me just around the bend, or right now. I know I Love Him beyond all humans, beyond all human knowledge of the word love. To question that is something that shakes my whole being to tears. Being where I am now in life and my idea of who God is has changed over the years. Learning more about life and how it runs has changed my thoughts as to 'how big' God is. When little being taught that God loves the little children and singing songs with such words proclaim Him to be a kind and gentle God, which He is. But upon reaching adolescence and all it's great glory of hormones and hearing that sex is bad and having everything in the media scream about sex and how to do it, how it should be, what it's not... along with the visuals... sometimes I thought God was cruel to keep this for marriage. But I kept plugging away as to the deeper parts of His heart. After marrying the wrong person, realizing this screaming in a pillow locked in a closet, I fell heavily on who He was. I knew that I had not been abandoned for my choices, instantly I felt Him tell me it was going to be okay, that there would be consequences for my actions (they were made in selfish pursuit of happiness and I know that), but that the gifts that life would give, bad and good were to make me into a person that He would hold dear throughout it all. .....And my picture of God grew bigger, my small understanding deepened. After finishing college, having a baby, moving away from my parents yet again, living on my own, losing jobs and searching for a community of people that I belong has changed my heart again. He has used my past to prepare me for my future. I don't believe that anything that I've gone through as been a waste. I know that He has used all of it to put me in the place that I am now, for the purpose that I'm only beginning to understand that I have no idea of what it is, but I'm here, now, for Him. My heart has deepened beyond all the years that I've known God. I hear Him, and I know I hear Him. I know that He's accepted me when I thought no one would. He's brought people into my life that have ment more to me than anyone can describe. And He's looked out for me when I thought no one would. Some could say that I just have a good personality to have gone through those life situations to come through it with a good attitude. But what fun is that, taking credit for stupidity and the perseverance to succeeding some small faction. To each their own.

Sometimes life is so raw. Sometimes I feel like it hits me more that way than others.
Thank you Jon for putting into words what I couldn't. :)

Salmon pink, and pink pink...

This adorable little Chinese place down on Cleveland... The Cleveland Wok I believe... It's a darling place. Great food. Great conversations. Somehow good conversation or happy feelings are usually associated with food and drink.

This quaint little place is usually packed to the brim with people hoarding plate after plate of yummy buffet. While the food is great and service is anything but spectacular (could anything be said otherwise of a Chinese place that is probably family run?) the decor is something that is amusing and rather eye buggingly almost enough to make you lose your food if you aren't careful. Why? The one and only thing... Salmon pink on the left (if you are facing the door) and this pink, pink color on the right (also if you are looking at the door). I noticed last time that the ceiling has a line where both colors meet. I saw this the first time on the side walls, the meeting of two colors that were never ment to be together. Carefully painted on the ceiling light fixture was a line dividing the pinks. No over lap, just a clean line of pinks. It's quite amusing.

If I really believed it I wouldn't have bought it...

Let down again by advertising. What I'm referring to is the mascara I bought. It claims to 'lengthen' and 'add volume' right before your eyes! Yeah, all I saw was the white stuff highlight the lashes I already knew I had, then you put on the black mascara part and ta da! The exact same result from the other stuff... Only now you need super soap to get this off. Terrible stuff. Lies and all. But we still fall for their tricks and hopes of a better life.

While I enjoyed searching through the mascara aisle and assessing my kill (aka: purchase) I do not enjoy dousing a Q-tip in water and then hand soap to clean away the excess mascara that thoughtlessly adheres itself to the top of my eyelid. This morning the soap stung. The price for beauty...

The bosses are back at the shop, bearing gifts of useless promotional items such as a ball with a string attached to it. The only thing that we found this worked for was/is to frustrate the dogs and poor bubba couldn't comprehend where the ball went after we threw it. Searching the floor desperately trying to find the ball. I think he searched the whole shop on the first try with the ball. It was hilarious. Other such nonsense items included: pen with a pull out banner... Yes, it's true. Want to advertise with your writing utensil? Now you can just pull out the banner and instantly you have the dorkiest form of advertising in the world. There was a fastsigns paper airplane, stress balls, cloth banners, pens, odds and ends. The bosses bought all of us employees personalized mugs. Being that my name is Melody, they couldn't find a mug that said just that so I got the generic 'Mel'. Which is okay, it's my nic name. Throughout the day I thought about the mug and decided to cut the 'ody' out in black vinyl so I'd have my own personalized mug... It turned out beautifully, and so did Pete's...





Speaking of Pete... He performed his 'hippie' dance to Frank Sinatra. That was hilarious, Jamie and I couldn't stop laughing. Then to make it an even greater image he put water in a glass and mimicked how drunk hippies danced. Sloshing water all over the place. It was a riot! I remember tears forming and my sides aching. It was a great time.

One more small note... Today, after 2 yrs. and 8 months... I have a boyfriend. As adolescent as it sounds to me at this moment, it's one of the happiest words in my vocabulary tonight. Boyfriend. What a goofy name. ;)

Let the races begin!

Today we did multiple races around the shop. We did chair races, an obstacle race with the mop bucket and then we ran through the obstacle course with the magnifying glass stuck to our open eye while the other eye was tightly shut. To be brief, it was quite hilarious. I love where I work sometimes. I love my work as a whole. More so I love the people I work with our personalities mesh so well together its crazy! The results of the races today... I won the chair race with a startling 23 seconds and the magnifying glass obstacle course I won with 33 seconds. Don't you wish you worked here?? :-)

Sometimes it's nice when it snows...

Today has been exceptionally fun and boring here at fastsigns. I've gotten to clean out my myspace mailbox which had over 25 pages of read and unanswered emails awaiting deletion. Along with the boring tasks of email rendering we had a magnifying glass race around the shop. I currently hold the second fastest with a 26.5 second run. Quite good when you have one eye closed and the other trying desperately to focus through the magnifying glass. Who knows what tomorrow will bring...

If only my clothes would wash themselves...

I (and my blog) have been tagged by my friend Heather. Since she has tagged me I must share 5 things that you may not know about me...and then I get to tag 5 other people. Ready?

1. I some of the quirkiest electronics ever. My computer turns itself on. Middle of the night, middle of the day, when I shut the computer down I have to have my finger poised on the switch in case it refuses to be turned off and turns itself back on immediately after I've just turned it off. My car stereo doesn't have a CD player, so I bought the ghetto version where you put in a tape adapter. For some reason the tape adapter can't play on side 'B'. When the car is cold (usually) it flips from side 'A' at random to side 'B'. Other times (and this is all the time) when the song is too quiet or if the break between songs is too long the player kind of stops and makes this growling/grinding sound. (which is frustrating when you are trying to enjoy Dave King's drumming in the intro to any of his numerous bands. This condition (the grinding one) can be stopped by pressing the stop/eject button. Which sometimes results in the player getting 'pissed off' and turning off and turning on the Radio as if to say "I give up on you people and your demands, take that!". The radio, works fine. :)

2. I have an ears, eyes, nose and mouth fetish. I'm not going to elaborate.

3. When my sister and I were kids we would get into the brown sugar. We once took a small bowl, filled it quite high with brown sugar, and proceeded to eat it with spoons while mom slept. This was hidden under the hutch and found months/years later when we moved... Ick.. I have a similar story concerning rhubarb.

4. I'm claustrophobic. However I do like trying to fit in boxes. Mainly I think I get nervous when there are too many people around me. I utterly dislike seeing shows at the Quest.

5. Being chosen to dress as the school mascot in high school I was 'required' to go to away games with the cheerleaders. On one such occasion it was the other teams homecoming game. We pulled up in the parking lot and the first thing that I saw was float from their parade with a huge fly swatter and a hornet's butt sticking out of it. (I was the hornet). During the first half of the game the other team's cheerleaders approached me with this: "would you be willing to run across the field while being chased by a giant fly swatter?" To which I replied "um... Only if you don't hit me." It was funny in retrospect. Truth be told I was kind of terrified until we got back in the van to go home.

I don't think I'm going to tag anyone...
I don't know of anyone who hasn't been 'tagged' already and I certainly don't want this to be a regular thing... ;) So if you want to share 5 things feel free to leave them in my comments... or on your blogs. Yay!

This is for Jamie

Jamie (my awesome co-worker) has had a hard couple of months... About 2 months ago she was robbed at gun point losing her freshly cashed paycheck... in front of a Target of all places. Next, last Sunday night her car was stolen. And then today, this morning, she was waiting for the bus to get to work and was drop kicked and purse stolen. This time most of her things were in her pockets. Poor thing. So these photos I took today to cheer her up. Jamie, these are for you!

For added frustration I pick the epidermis... Evil skin.

Work has been incredibly boring... If anyone needs any signage... Please call the Bloomington Fastsigns and we'll take good care of you... Seriously.

The picture is of how bored I get. I start to read labels of various odds and ends of sprays and such that we have lying around the shop. Somedays I feel like jamming pencils up my nose just for something to do. I'm not saying that my co-workers and I don't get along, which is hardly the case. We have a great time together. But it would be nice to have something to make our time there worth while besides incredibly goofy banter and play on words jokes. *sigh*

I'm a deep thinker. But as such I like to be doing something while I dissect my thoughts and feelings. I think during work, which might be why I don't remember half the jobs that I do even a few days later. I have noticed that I do a lot of my thinking in front of the mirror... Picking at my face. Hence the horrid acne/scars. Or rather horrid in my mind. It's a sick obsession and I terribly want to be rid of it. Please pray for this. I'm obsessed with clear skin. I want terribly to look in the mirror and see nothing upon my face besides my nose and such other 'normalacies'. I'm not saying that I find myself repulsive, just slightly selfconcious... Yes, I have talked about this before. I should stop. I will.

By the way, the spray that you see in the picture will enhance your bust size at least 3 full cup sizes instantly... It is of course silicone spray... What else would it do?

I thought this was going to be an element from the periodic table... Which would've been totally cooler...

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

Coffee shop neurotic

I would never refer to myself as shallow or ditzy. Mainly because I am not those things. I ponder life too much to be ditzy and find meaning beyond looks to be shallow. Sometimes in my own thoughts I rush through senarios that could happen between me and a significant other, or friend where there is an issue. Or even better my boss, but they are all the same. Why I feel intimidated by her is a mystery, as much as why she thinks that everything is a better situation when she gets involved. Truth be told, I'd rather not be apart of a project that she is working on, it's stressful to be around her.

Tonight is my last night of freedom before Caleb returns tomorrow. I find myself excited to see his smile and hear his laugh but at the same time I am sorry to see this side of me fade into the background as I become the involved mother. The wonder woman of this small family. I made my last trip to a coffee shop, I've done well in this area since Caleb has been gone. I don't think I've been to the same one twice... Oh wait... Yes, I have been to Coffee News twice. Tonight I hit up Cafe' con Amore. Very nice. I've been here twice before with Matt, with and without our multitude of children. I opted for the window bar seat to read my Augusten Burroughs book ' Magical Thinking' . A book that I bought on a whim and have loved it dearly.

As I'm reading I over hear a group of young twenty somethings talking about clothes, etc. (and when I mean young twenty somethings I believe they were 19-22) even though myself am in my mid twenties feel much older than these girls, who were beginning to get rather annoying. At one point blondie received a call from an obvious boyfriend to whom she proceeded to to tell him in a rather nasty tone that he had just called and she didn't answer because she was going to call him later. And then proceeded to tell him some other faults he had, all the while rolling her eyes to the group of girls she was with. It was like a train wreck in my mind. Who are these people and why do they think and act like they are better than everyone? Bleached blondes, perfect make up, and stylish clothes aren't everything. Personality weighs more than the physical. It was at that point where I wanted to close my book and smack them with it. I wanted them to fall or slip in the slushy streets as I laughed from my modest coffee chair, well worn blue jeans and t-shirt. Right then looking 'good' was totally appalling and if the attitude followed suit with clothing then I wanted no part of it. I rolled my eyes when they started discussing other such nonsense things like how long it took for their nails to dry and if Tommy had noticed the new haircut/outfit. It made me cringe. I finished up my coffee and closed my book. I started to put on my coat and noticed that the three vain ones were doing the same. I felt their eyes boring into me, but I didn't pay attention. As far as I was concerned they ment nothing to me, their thoughts were as shallow as paying for their own education, which I'm sure that they didn't, their daddies definitely had a hand in that bill. Poor things.

I headed for the refuge of my car, small, beautiful, mine. Only to find that someone had parked their huge SUV half way in my spot. I sighed and silently cursed the maker of these beasts as I squeezed my way into the driver's seat of my tiny VW golf and maneuvered my way out of the parking spot. Thankful that I had a small car and that the 'beasts' door hadn't banged mine.

As I write this now I think that if I had come home and written immediately what I was thinking about while still on my coffee high this might've been a better post. I also wondered how possible it would've been to have been hit by the Italian Pie Shoppe Truck and offered a lifetime supply of their hot wings for the trauma put upon me by being hit by a pizza truck. Then all I could think about were the wings... Then it was wings and red wine...

I follow your days, and I know your thoughts...

Usually I kind of despise lists about a previous year. Up until last year my year 'reflection' mark was held at a Martin Sexton show. Why? Well for about 3-4 years I would see him every year. The last time I saw him he was sporting a wedding ring and I was very happy for him. Anyway, his music was a huge part of my daily life so going over a year while listening to him live was only natural. Plus, he always seemed to come to the cold Minnesota in November.

This year I don't have Martin, however John had us reflect on how we saw God move in our lives in 2005. Which is totally better than a secular list about the 'great' things about 2005. Or, so, in my thoughts anyway. So here they are, my brokenness, my joys.

1. My job at Bloomington FastSigns. After 2004 and it's many jobs I found that my one move to Bloomington has been a mixture of frustration and satisfaction. I know that they need me, I know that I can do everything in the shop, and I love the people I work with... Well most of the time though. This month will mark my one year there!

2. My car accident/new car. The slippery roads of MN still scare me. The car accident was the start of a huge step into total faith of what God can do and how He can provide. About 2 months after the accident I was still driving around my 'Alex' car and the brakes started not doing anything when pushed. Not a good sign. I found myself with a good tax return and online looking at cars. Finally calling a dealership and test driving one small, white VW Golf. I remember sitting in a chair at the dealership wondering if I could make the payments, going over every detail, but in the end realizing that I needed to do this. I no longer felt safe with Caleb in these cars that would break down all the time. I have to tell you that when I made the decision I felt sick and numb, but at the same time totally relieved. When we finalized everything the payments monthly payments dropped $60.00. I nearly peed my pants in joy. Ironically enough a year ago I wouldn't have thought of having a payment and making ends meet. Ever since that day I've found that I have the money and haven't missed a payment on my car.

3. Picnics at Laurel and Janet's house. Another avenue of friends and life.

4. neighborhood picnics and party's here on Osceola Ave. This block of people always amazes me. Kids everywhere for Caleb to play with, we have cookie baking parties, randomly eat outside together in the summers, let the kids swim in our multiple pools, help shovel each other's sidewalks/driveways, shoulders to cry on and support. Anne, my awesome landlady, even gets us presents. Caleb has a complete Spiderman collection and now a good start with Dinosaurs because of Anne. Living here has truly been a blessing and a learning experience. The day that any of us leave here will be a sad one.

5. The boundary waters trip with bluer. Being out of the rush of normal life always amazes me. Being out here I was shown that even in my quiet times where I was on vacation I was rushing. I never felt like I could relax. After being here I take advantage of my 'away time' and put in some good hours of just sitting and reading. Being a small group that went out was also an awesome experience. The 4 of us know each other better than we would've if we hadn't gone. Talking about going again this year in June to Knife Lake!!!!! Brought up some good laughs and heart felt smiles all around. A common happiness and joy being able to know and relate to that special time we had in the woods together.

6. How much of a joy Caleb is to my life. Even if I don't openly feel it, or am clouded by frustration. God always has a way of showing me how much I care for Caleb and how much he means to me. I've found that most of the time when I get really frustrated one of you tells me how goofy Caleb is, or something that he's said or done to make you smile and laugh. It really helps me get through those tough times of being a single mother. Those and my awesome and totally wonderful parents who take him for a week a few months of the year so I can have a break. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with a kid, not sure if I ever wanted to have them, but then I see Caleb and know that he needed to be here. There is a greater purpose for my life and his than meets the eye. One that I hope I'm living up to and living out daily.

7. Bluer. I can't put into good words how much you all mean to me. How much God has changed my life and personified His promises in my life through you. Finding you is more than I thought possible and being as close and community bases as we are... I've fallen madly in love with no apparent hope of ever losing that feeling, ever. Seeing us go through stages of life together and making it work despite how awkward we feel about our circumstances is encouraging and causes me to put even more faith in the fact that God has brought us together because He knows that we are good for each other. This is where we need to be.

8. Joe. Someone who gets me, who can sublty call me on things and I get it. One who can bring out a usually tough and correcting situation or where I need to change or think about what I've said/done and I don't resent him for it or feel that I'm going to lose his friendship over it or that our friendship will be strained over the incident. I've found that I've really needed that, knowing that someone is there for me no matter what. Up to this point he hasn't let me down or been too busy for me.

9. Meeting Matt. This could be a touchy thing so I'm not going to go into too much detail. I'm amazed at how well he and I fit. Over the past couple of years I've been extremely picky about who I'm interested in, and finding that I'm not cold and heartless towards relationships has been a big thing. It's simple, and goofy.

10. My wool socks and other such nonsense. Life isn't serious, it's seriously fun and entertaining. I don't think God gave us the ability to laugh and then said that we have to live a pious and quiet life. Life is funny, unexpected, and something that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Afterall, we are only here for a short time. I long to be with Him, to laugh in His presence and to bask in His beauty. I love Him for creating me the way I am, and am ever ready for more depth and understanding of who He wants me to be and how He is using me in this world for His purposes.

I laugh, I love, I live.