Blue Moon, the summer drink.

That and a nice New Castle... Yum.

The art show went okay. Thanks to those who made an effort to get out to it and supported your local artist and musican. :) I'm sure there will be more joint shows so keep checking back for them!

As it is MPR's time of recruitment I've come to reflect the 'duties' of becoming an adult and what I think is important to me.

#1. Family. Cultivating a mixed family has been a challenge on both ends, but it is coming together beautifully.

#2. Supporting Friends in their dreams. I love supporting my friends (and my... wow... I almost said husband! soon enough, soon enough... Boyfriend) in their ventures.

#3. Experiencing life and finding the really, really good parts, people, food, etc. and embracing them. I couldn't think of a better place than sitting around at the lake playing music, eating, laughing and enjoying one another's company. That is where the true pearls of life are found.

#4. Supporting local music. That means, yes, I am a member of MPR. (and I got a t-shirt and a summer pack on the way... hey! gifts help). The current is awesome. I've listened to it from day one. Thanks to Joe to introduced me to it.

#5. The creation of nature. There is just something about summer that makes me want to not be indoors at all. I've aquired herbs and have a pretty good herb garden going. I believe I have at least 5 different kinds of basil. Yum! Fresh basil on Pizza is AWESOME!!!

I wanted to update you all on a couple of things before I disappear for another few weeks... ;)

My surgery was successful. I no longer have any part of the HPV virus in my body! Praise God! I'm now working at FastSigns in Invergrove Heights. It's a store that I've worked at before and was welcomed back with open and excited arms. I'm also getting better pay and more apprieciation for the work that I do. It's a huge difference from where I was at in Bloomington.

With that, I hope that you all are enjoying your summer!

I know I am.

Art show details!

Friday, June 9, Is a collaborative artshow 'opening' and music by Matthew Fox. The show is at the "720 Loft Space" at 718-720 Central Ave. in Minneapolis. Hennepin north to Central; left on Central; up on the right you'll see a sign for Twin Cities Office Supply and it's just upstairs. We'll have a few drinks and snacks but feel free to BYOB to consume or share. Doors will open about 7:15 and Matt will perform about 8. This is an all ages show. Cover is a freewill donation to cover expenses and pay a couple of starving artists' bills. ;-)

Here is a link for directions on mapquest:
Map to show

It should be a great time!

Hope to see some of you there.

~Melody

Artshow Announcement!

Yes! I'm back to showing my art. Well, at least I'm starting to get back into it with the help of my wonderful boyfriend Matt. My next show will be June 9th (Friday Night)at the 720 Loft Central. Or something like that. If you are out and about for Art-a-whirl I believe they are going to have the space open and my art will be displayed. Very cool! :) Here's a recent email from the loft:

Hello everyone, I'm mailing to let you know about the
show at the space on Saturday may 20th. It be our
unofficial art-a-whirl night, with the Pan
Metropolitan Trio, featuring Tuba, Stick, & drums.
And the 2/3 trio featuring double bass, drums, guitar,
& wurlitzer. A night of Jazz standards as well as
free compositions. Also we have a new featured
artist, Melody Sanders you can check out her work at
( look under
the studio link) We are very excited to have her work
on display. We will have wine for this show but feel
free to bring an extra bottle as we may run out.(food
as always) 21+ 5$ @ the door hope to see you there,
e-mail us if you have any questions. SPREAD THE
WORD!!!!! Thanks 720space.
For directions:
<
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=720+Central+Ave,+Minneapolis+MN>

Also, Matt will be playing a solo show that night. I think Wine and small snacks or something, will be served. Also a small cover ($5?) that is still to be determined.

A side note: My surgery yesterday went well. I however ache and am not up to full health, I am glad that it's over. I went back to work today, if that gives any indication of how things went. :) Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts!

Maybe I should keep this to myself... Then again, maybe not.

Has anyone heard of HPV? The virus that causes cervical cancer after many years of going untreated? Come on... Anyone? I believe they even have a public service announcement playing on some broadcasting stations. This being said... I found out after my last pap that it came back abnormal. The other testing that I go through came back negative, but finding that my normal routine check up showed something abnormal, it freaked me out a bit. I was briefed on the causes and possible results of further testing. They said that I was a 'mid-severe' case and that they wanted me in as soon as I could. Having no money and no health insurance at this time I was over joyed when I found out that they had a grant to pay for the procedure, and even more happy when I found out that I qualified for it. They performed a colposcopy which resulted in a biopsy which came back with the information that indeed I had HPV. I scheduled an appointment for a LEEP procedure, which is today at 2pm. Am I nervous? Yes. But I'm thankful that what they found was a small amount of the virus. Although severe, it hadn't gone into the cancerous stages yet. And they are able to remove the infected areas without much effort or concern of it coming back. Yay! Praise God!

Matt has been very supportive. I couldn't have asked for a better guy/boyfriend/potential husband.

Just thought you all should know. :-)

I'm jaded, I can never work for you again...

It is with great sadness that I leave Pete. Tomorrow is my last day at bloomington Fastsigns. It is one that will be filled with mostly great joy and relief. But also a slight sadness for the co-workers that I am leaving.

Here ends this chapter of my life.

Employees tire of boss exclaiming victories over cleaning their desk.

There's my shot at an onion title. Pretty good, eh? My co-workers thought it pretty amusing. 1 point for me.

Change is huge lately! Let me tell you! It's crazy with us 'were single' bluer folk. Heather and Mark got engaged and started a plethora of things... Amy and Nick are now engaged and Matt and I are moving in together with a tentative wedding date, August of 2007. Anyway, big changes. About a year ago Heather and Mark were dating, while Nick, Amy, me (all single) and said Mark were heading off to the boundary waters. Now, we're all coupled, happily I might add. Yay us! Thank you Father above for your blessings of friendship, kinship, and partnership.


The other day, on my way to work, I almost hit a turkey crossing/flying across the road. Yes, apparently at Randolph and Lexington intersection there is a high chance that you might catch a turkey on your windshield. At least this time I didn't think it was a flying reindeer...

The pain will only last a second

Well... It has been a long time since I've written. Sorry to all who make this a regular stop only to find that I've nothing witty to say, or anything new to say even. I've been rather busy. Life busy. Two weeks ago Matt's back started hurting, and a week ago it started getting really acute pain. So I've been helping him with things, trying to get my roommate out... Which after a heated argument spurned by his drunken fury. I called the cops last Thursday night and he's been out of the house ever since. Still needs to pick up most of his things, but he hasn't stayed here since Thursday. And yeah, I think that's it.

Back to Matt. Matt's surgery went beautifully. Well, the surgeon called me at work to say
that it was an 'uneventful' surgery. Which is good.

Matt is doing okay, extremely tired though. The past two nights he hasn't
been able to find a comfortable position to sleep in, I'm glad that the
surgery was today. I don't/didn't like seeing him in pain. Now we're
starting in on the recovery pains... Which, I'm hoping, aren't as acute as
the pre-surgery ones... :)

Thanks for all the prayers... And the ones that are still coming. The
pre-surgery stress was a little intense. Mostly for the following reasons:
#1. The staff at the surgeon's weren't very helpful in letting Matt
know what and how to go about getting labs and testing done before surgery,
or even a date for that matter! #2. Lab work had to be done in two places,
the clinic, and the hospital. #3. Today, they were going to have him take
x-rays (the same ones that he took on Monday) and blood testing (the same
that they did Monday) because no one was talking to anyone and couldn't find
the paperwork on them. I'm glad that Matt didn't tell me this before the
surgery started... I don't think I could've concentrated on anything. But
he is doing well. Despite all the misplaced paperwork.

And I'm exhausted. But happy. I know that I wouldn't want anything else going on in my life than taking care of someone who means as much to me as Matt. It hasn't been a burden, or an annoyance. He needs/ed me, and sometimes that's just the best feeling in the world. Especially when I know whole heartedly that he would reciprocate if the rolls were reversed.

I am blessed.

'Surprises'

This weekend has been a challenge. I'm almost excited about going back to work tomorrow... ALMOST. I decided to kick my roommate out. It hasn't been a good situation and questioning a recent hunch led me to the point of losing it, and telling him that he had to get out. Ever since then we've had heated conversations about why I want him to move out. I feel uncomfortable and unsafe with him living here. I'd rather error on the side of safety when it comes to Caleb. I think any parent would.

My parents were in town this Friday and Saturday. They just got back from Florida. After telling them about the roommate situation, and mom bringing up a good question about him, and the telling him to get out (by me), we heeded out to the conservatory at the Como Zoo. What a wonderful place. Amidst feeling heavy and drained this place lightened my mood, and calmed me. My Creator cares about my well being. Mom and dad offered to take Caleb for the week or until the roommate is gone. I thought, after a bit, that this would be the best for all involved. When it was time to go it was an awkward goodbye. Caleb could sense that something wasn't right about the situation and him leaving, I miss him terribly because of it, and my mom says that he feels the same. Your prayers in this situation would be most helpful and greatly appreciated.

So now I'm looking for a roommate once again. Maybe I'll make it into a studio for others to get away in... Something. Someone.

Other surprises that I've come to experience... Matt. My family. His kids (Matt's). Friday night we all got together and made pizzas. My parents, Caleb, Matt's kids, Matt and I. It was fun. Very fun. My parents greeted the kids with kindness and open arms. They laughed, played hide and seek. We watched movies and ate. Mom bought them cookies, cookies especially for them. :) I love my family. It was good to see how well they got along. And the hopes of Matt and I's relationship in the future was once again saved from 'deal breaker' status. Sometimes I wonder and marvel about how smooth this is going. I'm amazed at how well he and I seem to fit each other. It's crazy good. And after two and a half years of being single, being very picky, being let down, and on numerous one time dates it's great to finally feel that I've found someone who fits me as well as Matt does. What's great, is that he feels the same way about me.

Sorry if my lack of words is showing... I've been busy with life, not much to muss and mull over anymore. I feel kind of dry and boring as far as my thoughts and words go. Instead of being full of life I'm just giving details... that sucks. I have inspiration to write, but then I don't have time for it or by the time I've exhausted everything that I've needed to do that day I totally forget what I wanted to write about. Which makes it frustrating when I log in to blogger only to find myself drawing a blank as to why I actually signed in. It's been a vicious circle these past couple of weeks. Maybe with a little more free time now that Caleb is gone I'll have more of a chance to write and explain my feelings with better words than just events.

Please pray for the roommate/studio situation. I'm a loss for words as to what my next action should be here. Thank you for your time.

Chocolate and Penguins.

I'm not a robot... I'm real.

I'm going to place a passage of the book 'surprise me' by Terry Esau. The 30 day surprise me experiment thingy that my small group is doing.

Keep in mind that this is practically right on to my thoughts about my faith. And it's excited me to hear that there are others (or another at least) that believe this exact way...

Day 26: Stepford Christians: "... That's why it's so pathetically sad that we Christians have become robotic in this culture. I'm pointing the finger at me too. We act, we play roles a part we've read about, a part we've been told we're supposed to play. We're ceramic plaster-of-poser. We may look good to the casual observer, but what good is the casual observance when you're looking for ultimate substance? As long as we are just role-playing, the only participants we're going to bring on board are other role-playing, bitpart thespians who are looking for nonthinking parts. We've got enough nonthinkers in Christianity. We need genuine, questioning wrestlers of the faith. We need people who doubt their way to belief. People who question their way into ownership of their faith. People who earn the right to say, this is who I am, so far, because this is who I've discovered God to be, so far." "... We have too many Christian robots. We need Christians who fail and admit they fail. We need Christians who admit that they don't know everything. We need more human Christians. We need more Christian humans. Let's wrestle our beliefs to the ground. Then let's get up and do all over again. Let's be okay with the struggle, with not knowing everything. Do we really want a God that we can explain? Do we want a God that we can quantify? If we could, wouldn't we be him? I don't want that God. If I can figure him out, then I don't want him. He'd be too average, too regular, too human. That God is a poser. The robots can have that God. He's not worthy of my devotion. I want a big God that blows my mind into tiny bits when I even attempt to capture him. I want a God who's a surprise machine, a conundrum, a continual mystery. That's the God that has captured me. I know for a fact that He doesn't resolve, at least in the way that I understand resolution. And I'm becoming more and more okay with that. I'd better, because there are no other options."

Isn't that amazing? I got goose bumps and tears formed in my eyes. Which is hard to hide when you are sitting in the middle of a sign shop work area during your lunch. Nonetheless there I was being touched or surprised that another human Christian could explain what I've been thinking/feeling for a few years now. And have only begun to form my own opinion of my faith. Here is a blog post that I wrote that faintly hits upon depth about my faith. Not that it's a huge deal about what I think. But, there it is anyway.

Your Receiving line...

Upon my February hair cut my awesome stylist (although not as awesome as Jonathan my stylist back in Detroit Lakes), Stephanie used this cool product in my hair. 'Beach hair' if you will. Crushed and ground bamboo mixed in with this type of 'goo'/gel to make your hair feel and smell (Hawaiian tropics tanning oil) like you've spend the day at the beach. Only get this! You've just taken a shower and are squeaky clean. Quite cool if you ask me. Sadly, this is as close to any beach as I'm going to get in the middle of winter. But it's working. My small bit of summer fits in a jar and is applied daily, and smelled as often as my hair falls in my face. Yum.

Going through this 'Surprise me' God book has been interesting. I read the book and I wonder how my life could be as eventful as the author. I go to work, I pick up Caleb, and I come home. Save the few times that I have small group, game night, bluer, etc. It's pretty much the same. Being an author it seems like he has a lot more free time than one could hope for, therefore he has more time to put aside to talk to friends who pop into his life. Resulting in more 'surprises' aka grounding moments that lead back to God and His plans, His secrets, His inner workings weaving through our thoughts and actions in any given day.

My results so far? Nothing as interesting as he has placed in his book. And I can't decide if it's because I'm not seeing the opportunities to act and be surprised, or if I just can't bring myself to push further into the unknown, the 'non-comfort' zone to push my faith in a direction that would cause those 'ah ha' moments.

That being said... on to other things...

Friday (last Friday) Matt and I were able to find a last minute babysitter so we could head out to see my favorite band... 'Halloween, Alaska'. I love them, even though the new album is less than I expected from them. Their music has a certain awe about it for me. If I could encapsulate myself in an album it would be Halloween, Alaska's 'Halloween, Alaska' CD. I love it, know it, feel it, and for what it's worth live how the music feels and sounds. If that's even possible, even comprehensible.

I feel like there is so much to say... so much has gone on since I last wrote. I've made some changes on my artist website... the look is a little more... um, different. :)

This weekend I have plans to go vintage clothing shopping... I can't wait!

My blue eyes sparkle even more...

Yes, it is safe to say that this Valentines day (even though I'm highly anti-valentines day due to the crappy hype of it all) was one of the best. (I mean you can't top Tommy giving out Valentines and you being the only girl that got one from him, that's high up there.) However there is a new contender for this place in valentines day history... Yes, Matt. How brilliant of you to think of him instantly. Is it because he's my boyfriend that you thought of him? Thought so. Crazy. ;)

Valentines day dawned like them all (normal days that is). Besides for the ice/snow that covered the ground in the morning the day turned out pretty great. I had a plan for Matt's car, covering it in magnets that said 'i love you'. (yes, the i isn't capitalized. Why? Because in a relationship neither the 'i' nor 'you' is any better than the other.) I totally almost got caught by him. He was out having a smoke and I thought he wouldn't have been up that early. (he lives across the street from me). As I opened the door to plaster magnetics all over his vehicle I stopped short with the view of him standing in front of his apartment building. Crap! Thinking he totally saw me I ducked back into my house and waited. Finally I got to the car, which I had to scrap the ice off just to get the magnets to stick. Then it was off to drop Caleb off with his many goodies for his classmates, then off to work. I got a text message exclaiming that I totally 'rock!' and that he's leaving his 'magnetic love notes' on all day. How sweet! :)

The day goes, he calls to make sure that we're having lunch a 'short one' around 1ish. Then the odd things began to happen at the shop. Pete, in the middle of helping a customer, comes up to me kind of in a huff telling me that I need to run to Johnson's (our engraving materials supplier) to get the materials that we NEED for today. I'm like okay... at this point it's 12:30. I'm thinking why can't this wait until I'm back from lunch. I reluctantly agree and put on my coat and head out the door. The drive is nice. I'm feeling PMS-ish and feeling like I really need to get away from people for awhile, for some reason I should be happier being that is valentines day and I do, infact have a date. However, one cannot totally control the hormones of the 'week before'.

I get to Johnson's and tell the receptionist who I am with, she breaks into an odd smile and calls to the back to bring up the materials. THEN... starts talking with me like I'm an old friend! I'm thinking... what the heck is wrong with this woman!? Did she get so overwhelmed with Valentines day that it's gone to her head??? She's never this friendly. I immediately think of telling Pete and Jamie and what a kick they'll get out of how she acted. Crazy woman! The materials arrive and I'm spared a futher conversation that was headed toward dominos and how the superbowl is their biggest selling day and etc.

I get back to the shop, it's now about 12:45. I look around to see if Matt has gotten there yet. No sign of him. I walk into the shop and start to put my jacket away when I look back at Pete and Jamie at the front. They're exchanging odd looks and looking back at me. 'What's going on?' I ask. Then they break into a play act of Jamie getting stabbed by Pete's Swiss army knife. Hilarious and the usual stuff that happens here, but it's odd all the same. I roll my eyes and head over to the engraver to start the jobs that 'need' to get done today.

As I'm starting the engraver Jamie comes over to me and starts talking about how she hates Valentines day. (one thing that you should know about the engraver; it's really hard to hear things happening in the shop behind me, and usually when people come up to me if I'm working on the computer I look up and am greatly startled. The noise from the machine itself and the fan that's right next to it drown out a lot, if not most, of background noise. Conversation dwindles and Jamie stays by me, then she starts talking about this woman and how she wanted banners for this weekend, but she wanted this special stand that we didn't have. And how Jamie didn't want to order it because the woman was a bitch and bollocks like that... I'm like...'what? Why are you telling me this???' I hear some rustling behind me and assume that it's Wendy or Sue unpacking something from UPS. Then, Matt appears, Jamie smiles, and the shop is relatively quiet. Aside from the blaring engraver and fan. He motions for me to look at the production table and there... in all their glory were my favorite foods that he had spent the past hour driving around and picking up to surprise me. The whole shop had been in on this! As it turns out even the woman at Johnsons knew about it and was asked to distract me for a few minutes. It was insane!!! I loved it! Being someone that often dreams of surprise parties and such and never having them happen this was fun to experience. I had thought that the whole thing might've been a set up. But then I thought why would they tell the Johnson's lady and boxed the whole thing to my crazy imagination. But no, it was all true.



The set up as I looked at the table and Matt's huge smile and nervously shaking hands (he's adorable) was this: wine glasses filled with strawberry shake, a pottery bowl full of French fries and a smaller bowl filled with ketchup. (this is my favorite comfort food). Next there were hot wings. And then a pizza in the shape of (gag, and awww!) a heart with my favorite toppings. Of which (the red pepper) wasn't available to put on the pizza and Matt had somehow persuaded the place to cut up and put on the pizza because it was valentines day... He's great. I really couldn't believe my eyes.

I'm happy. Not because he went to the trouble and the thoughtfulness to surprise me, but with him in general. We fit so well that it's crazy. Things work out, we work them out, we try, we give, we take. It's amazing. I think he's amazing.



Thank you Matt for a great Valentines day. I hope there are many more!

And the grand finale? Wretching into the toilet...

Yes, I was sick... Actually sick-queasy- for a solid week. I took Monday off (as stated in my last post) and felt great, but still felt queasy throughout most of last week. I found that if I kept my stomach full that it didn't feel as bad. Thursday morning dawned and I went to work. The day just kept on getting worse and worse. My stomach cramped up and I felt more and more like I would be hurling myself to the back of the shop to the open mouth of the toilet. Here's one thing... That would be gross... Work toilets disgust me. Maybe fore the one and only reason of none proper toilet etiquette is followed upon the boss use in the mornings or whenever she goes poo. Instead of being humanistic and leaving the fan on, she leaves the door wide open and insists on spraying the foul odor with an even fouler smelling lysol spray. It's enough to make one gag and wonder how much of a bad atmosphere this is to work in. I nearly lost it out on the production table last Thursday upon smelling this stank. Awful. Simply awful.

I left shortly after noon on Thursday and spent the rest of the day in bed. Matt came over and read while I slept and ran to the bathroom as my stomach failed to hold anything down. That night wasn't the best. And as Friday started I knew that I wasn't going to make it through a day of work. I dropped off Caleb at Daycare/Preschool and headed back to my bed. I don't even think I put on make up or other clothes than my jammies... I don't even think I put on a bra... Sorry, too much info. I slept until about 2, got up and headed out for last minute things for the game night that night. That lasted about an hour and then I was back in my jammies, back in bed until Matt got off of work. We cleaned the house, made supper and a snack for the party. The party was awesome! I love my friends dearly. We had a great time, I felt great, and laughter was in the air.

Saturday morning... Back to feeling like crap. So I stayed in bed most of the day until bluer set up that night. Sunday, my first normal day where no queasiness occurred. Happy day!

Surprise me God... Day one... Kind of

As my small group embarked on this journey last night, (book in hand), I started to ponder it's meaning. The deeper meaning of asking God, 'Surprise me', is to further include Him in your daily life, to see Him in the small mundane things. I think I've already accomplished this. I know He is there in the busyness of my life, ever watching how I handle situations, always over joyed when giving Him thanks. But nonetheless I gave this a shot. Even though, quite frankly, I think I'm already there...

This morning was a quite one, that is until I placed my new Sigur Ros CD in the player and headed out of St. Paul on Hwy 5. There's something about driving right under an airplane that is totally out of this world. Especially the big ones. It seems to shake my whole being. It's amazing. Continuing on through my drive. Sigur Ros's 'Glosoli' brought tears to my eyes. For some reason I had envisioned a long wait (living life if you will) before being able to see and be close to my creator, my Lord, my King. And then being able to run to Him with wild abandon. It was a truly beautiful moment.

Today was probably a terrible mess. Yesterday I called in sick and upon getting to work this morning I found out that Pete and Jamie had also called in sick, not only today, but yesterday as well... So for the past 2 days the shop has only had 3-4 workers in it. Today was a mess, but I didn't really let anything get to me. One can't when the boss seems to lose her head over every little thing. I just step above it, clear my head, and hope that someday soon she'll realize that her skitzo behavior is costing the shop valuable business.

Another thing that God revealed to me was how blessed I was yesterday to have taken the day off. I fell in love with life again. Things went beautifully, along with it being such a beautiful day. I went out to lunch with my boyfriend and then headed out to the rosedale mall to exchange some jeans. It was great! The whole day went beautifully... I bought paint, headed over to my favorite art shop (wet paint) and found that my drawing pad that usually goes for $15 was on sale for $8! I bought wine at the wine thief, which by the way is a beautiful wine shop. I love Solo Vino but it's good to find an alternate shop. Anyway, upon coming home hands full of paint and canvas, I glanced up at the mail box filled with small bubble mailers. The CDs that I ordered last week! Yay! I started painting and listening to new music. Followed up by spending time with Matt and all his geekiness about guitars. I loved it. :)

It was a beautiful day. A much needed day. Thank you stomach and my heavenly father for allowing me to have it to myself.

I've never wanted to be in a band more... with this name success is imminent.

It has become our spot, our little cozy place of refuge from life, kids, schedules. A secret get away. Even though the mannequin that greets you at the door often, if not always, catches me off guard out of the corner of my eye. I swear that someday I'm going to take it out in a fury of thinking that it's actually someone standing there.

We were here to discuss trips, get togethers, the norm for busy people. A call to mum, a call about the house, the calendar spread out over months. Free days were sparse and taken up fast. The pen, seemingly to have a mind of it's own, cautiously marked out dates inspired by conversations, thoughts and ideas that were suggested. The calendar closed and the thoughts returned back to the mindset that our short escape from the world was close to being over. *sigh*

"I love you."

The smile that crept across the face for those random words... Priceless.

My son will have the fish...

Caleb and I dined on fish tonight. Coming from a family who was raised on a resort, fish and fish frys are a common place happening in the summer, and whenever there is enough fish to feed a good group of us. I love it. When I was 16 I out ate my uncle. So to this day I'm crowned queen of fish eating, also terribly teased that they 'don't have enough fish to feed everyone.... And me.' But it's okay, I wear the title triumphantly. Tonight, however, I believe I found my match. Caleb is quite taken with the stuff. And rightly so, it's in his genes. As he came back into the kitchen asking for his second piece of fish when I had barely begun my first, was something of great satisfaction that I had finally found something that he would eat. We had salads with our fish, which isn't common. There is usually boiled potatoes (we didn't have them) and this awesome bean salad that has kidney beans, peppers, sometimes celery, onions, and Mayo. It's fantastic with fish... But salad did great. Which is why when I started in on my second piece of fish I didn't know if I would be able to finish it or not. I had dug into the salad so fast that the fish merely seemed a side dish. (it could also show that I haven't been eating a lot of fruits and veggies lately, which is bad I know... But I don't have the money for it right now and Caleb needs better nutrition than me, so I sacrifice).

While eating, I started reading an column in the Rake about Minnesotan nudists and the like. In one part he referred to the Greeks and how they trained naked for the Olympics... And such I came to this key thing... The word "gymnasium" actually comes from the Greek word "gymnos", meaning 'Nude'. Isn't that interesting??? Maybe you all knew that already, I probably did too, but tonight, for some reason, it was quite amusing.

The article was fascinating and pretty well written. I, however, will keep my nudity to my own house to the eyes of no one but my own, and the occasional accidental happening when Caleb walks into the bathroom.

Looking back upon my fish and salad, I think I'll keep the rosemary out of my fish batter. It was a little much.

Who am I to say it's right?

"i am beginning to think that "judgment day" is less about god sentencing us to any particular place so much as us receiving exactly what we desire. so we should be begging him to change our hearts now so that they do not betray us when the eternal choice is given."

This is taken from my friend Jon's blog.

Something has to be said for close minded people. When I read this I nearly cried. I'd been trying to think of the best words to describe how I felt about the scriptures and how it depicts things. The 'judgment day' being one of them. Sometimes I even question if this is all just a cruel joke that I'm falling for, and then I think of how life would be different if I didn't believe that my Father in Heaven wasn't looking out for me. I know He guides my steps and knows my thoughts. That excites me, the idea of George W. spying on me, well... it's on the lowest of lows and almost descends deeper into the shadows of crossing the fragile line of love and hate.

More on this being a cruel joke. Being a single mother and finding that everything is 10 times more real when you have to deal with situations on your own with no one to emotionally and physically share the burdens of raising a child and being head of the household. It's mentally draining. So draining that sometimes thinking that I've been fooled somehow into believing that God is real sometimes makes me cry and waver as to my thinking that this is correct. But then I re-analyze my life. I wouldn't live it any different, I wouldn't cry out for anything less or more from myself. If we're wrong about God, I guess the truth will come in the end, won't it? All I know is that when following Him I feel complete, comforted that He is there, and has something for me just around the bend, or right now. I know I Love Him beyond all humans, beyond all human knowledge of the word love. To question that is something that shakes my whole being to tears. Being where I am now in life and my idea of who God is has changed over the years. Learning more about life and how it runs has changed my thoughts as to 'how big' God is. When little being taught that God loves the little children and singing songs with such words proclaim Him to be a kind and gentle God, which He is. But upon reaching adolescence and all it's great glory of hormones and hearing that sex is bad and having everything in the media scream about sex and how to do it, how it should be, what it's not... along with the visuals... sometimes I thought God was cruel to keep this for marriage. But I kept plugging away as to the deeper parts of His heart. After marrying the wrong person, realizing this screaming in a pillow locked in a closet, I fell heavily on who He was. I knew that I had not been abandoned for my choices, instantly I felt Him tell me it was going to be okay, that there would be consequences for my actions (they were made in selfish pursuit of happiness and I know that), but that the gifts that life would give, bad and good were to make me into a person that He would hold dear throughout it all. .....And my picture of God grew bigger, my small understanding deepened. After finishing college, having a baby, moving away from my parents yet again, living on my own, losing jobs and searching for a community of people that I belong has changed my heart again. He has used my past to prepare me for my future. I don't believe that anything that I've gone through as been a waste. I know that He has used all of it to put me in the place that I am now, for the purpose that I'm only beginning to understand that I have no idea of what it is, but I'm here, now, for Him. My heart has deepened beyond all the years that I've known God. I hear Him, and I know I hear Him. I know that He's accepted me when I thought no one would. He's brought people into my life that have ment more to me than anyone can describe. And He's looked out for me when I thought no one would. Some could say that I just have a good personality to have gone through those life situations to come through it with a good attitude. But what fun is that, taking credit for stupidity and the perseverance to succeeding some small faction. To each their own.

Sometimes life is so raw. Sometimes I feel like it hits me more that way than others.
Thank you Jon for putting into words what I couldn't. :)

Salmon pink, and pink pink...

This adorable little Chinese place down on Cleveland... The Cleveland Wok I believe... It's a darling place. Great food. Great conversations. Somehow good conversation or happy feelings are usually associated with food and drink.

This quaint little place is usually packed to the brim with people hoarding plate after plate of yummy buffet. While the food is great and service is anything but spectacular (could anything be said otherwise of a Chinese place that is probably family run?) the decor is something that is amusing and rather eye buggingly almost enough to make you lose your food if you aren't careful. Why? The one and only thing... Salmon pink on the left (if you are facing the door) and this pink, pink color on the right (also if you are looking at the door). I noticed last time that the ceiling has a line where both colors meet. I saw this the first time on the side walls, the meeting of two colors that were never ment to be together. Carefully painted on the ceiling light fixture was a line dividing the pinks. No over lap, just a clean line of pinks. It's quite amusing.

If I really believed it I wouldn't have bought it...

Let down again by advertising. What I'm referring to is the mascara I bought. It claims to 'lengthen' and 'add volume' right before your eyes! Yeah, all I saw was the white stuff highlight the lashes I already knew I had, then you put on the black mascara part and ta da! The exact same result from the other stuff... Only now you need super soap to get this off. Terrible stuff. Lies and all. But we still fall for their tricks and hopes of a better life.

While I enjoyed searching through the mascara aisle and assessing my kill (aka: purchase) I do not enjoy dousing a Q-tip in water and then hand soap to clean away the excess mascara that thoughtlessly adheres itself to the top of my eyelid. This morning the soap stung. The price for beauty...

The bosses are back at the shop, bearing gifts of useless promotional items such as a ball with a string attached to it. The only thing that we found this worked for was/is to frustrate the dogs and poor bubba couldn't comprehend where the ball went after we threw it. Searching the floor desperately trying to find the ball. I think he searched the whole shop on the first try with the ball. It was hilarious. Other such nonsense items included: pen with a pull out banner... Yes, it's true. Want to advertise with your writing utensil? Now you can just pull out the banner and instantly you have the dorkiest form of advertising in the world. There was a fastsigns paper airplane, stress balls, cloth banners, pens, odds and ends. The bosses bought all of us employees personalized mugs. Being that my name is Melody, they couldn't find a mug that said just that so I got the generic 'Mel'. Which is okay, it's my nic name. Throughout the day I thought about the mug and decided to cut the 'ody' out in black vinyl so I'd have my own personalized mug... It turned out beautifully, and so did Pete's...





Speaking of Pete... He performed his 'hippie' dance to Frank Sinatra. That was hilarious, Jamie and I couldn't stop laughing. Then to make it an even greater image he put water in a glass and mimicked how drunk hippies danced. Sloshing water all over the place. It was a riot! I remember tears forming and my sides aching. It was a great time.

One more small note... Today, after 2 yrs. and 8 months... I have a boyfriend. As adolescent as it sounds to me at this moment, it's one of the happiest words in my vocabulary tonight. Boyfriend. What a goofy name. ;)

Let the races begin!

Today we did multiple races around the shop. We did chair races, an obstacle race with the mop bucket and then we ran through the obstacle course with the magnifying glass stuck to our open eye while the other eye was tightly shut. To be brief, it was quite hilarious. I love where I work sometimes. I love my work as a whole. More so I love the people I work with our personalities mesh so well together its crazy! The results of the races today... I won the chair race with a startling 23 seconds and the magnifying glass obstacle course I won with 33 seconds. Don't you wish you worked here?? :-)

Sometimes it's nice when it snows...

Today has been exceptionally fun and boring here at fastsigns. I've gotten to clean out my myspace mailbox which had over 25 pages of read and unanswered emails awaiting deletion. Along with the boring tasks of email rendering we had a magnifying glass race around the shop. I currently hold the second fastest with a 26.5 second run. Quite good when you have one eye closed and the other trying desperately to focus through the magnifying glass. Who knows what tomorrow will bring...