Ticking Time Bomb a fallen tulip petal...

So this way it's simple...

Being a single parent pullst great energy. Imagine if you will the will to survive on little sleep, very little to none-time to yourself, and feeling that if you slip once everything you've been juggling will cave in on you! Yes! Survival mode. Your body and mind are constantly in a state of defense. As if the daily happenings of life could destroy your little bomb shelter, and in essance it probably could. That is if the bomb hit the right cracks in the system. Weak spots in general are hard for any individual to fess up to having, however, most single parents would probably agree that to show weakness holds great danger of that part of your life.

My time bomb would have to be, doing this on my own for much longer... I know I can do it, but slowly I'm losing my mind and sanity. If any of you have been witness to times when I've just faded out of a conversation, when I was talking, or we were talking... Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes my brain just turns off in the oddest of times. I would like to think that it's because I've lost interest, that might be an easy way out... Either way I"m terribly sorry.

Caleb does get on my nerves... from the constant 'Momma's' to 'Momma, you're not leaving' (around bedtime) and the absolutely irritating way he tries to tell me what to do. Frustrating! Seriously, there are times that I feel like I"m about to explode and I cry out in prayer "Please God! Send me someone!"

And on the other hand, he is an amazing kid. I love him dearly. For the most part well mannered (usually in public settings he is the kid that listens the most to authority), is always concerned about his mom, no matter if it's a headache or a little scratch on my hand. He gives me kisses and 'demands' to know how I got hurt, coming up with his own dramazations when mine are boring and don't make sense to him.

I do have to say that I love my yoga classes, and the bluer gatherings... both have child care provided...