I would never refer to myself as shallow or ditzy. Mainly because I am not those things. I ponder life too much to be ditzy and find meaning beyond looks to be shallow. Sometimes in my own thoughts I rush through senarios that could happen between me and a significant other, or friend where there is an issue. Or even better my boss, but they are all the same. Why I feel intimidated by her is a mystery, as much as why she thinks that everything is a better situation when she gets involved. Truth be told, I'd rather not be apart of a project that she is working on, it's stressful to be around her.
Tonight is my last night of freedom before Caleb returns tomorrow. I find myself excited to see his smile and hear his laugh but at the same time I am sorry to see this side of me fade into the background as I become the involved mother. The wonder woman of this small family. I made my last trip to a coffee shop, I've done well in this area since Caleb has been gone. I don't think I've been to the same one twice... Oh wait... Yes, I have been to Coffee News twice. Tonight I hit up Cafe' con Amore. Very nice. I've been here twice before with Matt, with and without our multitude of children. I opted for the window bar seat to read my Augusten Burroughs book ' Magical Thinking' . A book that I bought on a whim and have loved it dearly.
As I'm reading I over hear a group of young twenty somethings talking about clothes, etc. (and when I mean young twenty somethings I believe they were 19-22) even though myself am in my mid twenties feel much older than these girls, who were beginning to get rather annoying. At one point blondie received a call from an obvious boyfriend to whom she proceeded to to tell him in a rather nasty tone that he had just called and she didn't answer because she was going to call him later. And then proceeded to tell him some other faults he had, all the while rolling her eyes to the group of girls she was with. It was like a train wreck in my mind. Who are these people and why do they think and act like they are better than everyone? Bleached blondes, perfect make up, and stylish clothes aren't everything. Personality weighs more than the physical. It was at that point where I wanted to close my book and smack them with it. I wanted them to fall or slip in the slushy streets as I laughed from my modest coffee chair, well worn blue jeans and t-shirt. Right then looking 'good' was totally appalling and if the attitude followed suit with clothing then I wanted no part of it. I rolled my eyes when they started discussing other such nonsense things like how long it took for their nails to dry and if Tommy had noticed the new haircut/outfit. It made me cringe. I finished up my coffee and closed my book. I started to put on my coat and noticed that the three vain ones were doing the same. I felt their eyes boring into me, but I didn't pay attention. As far as I was concerned they ment nothing to me, their thoughts were as shallow as paying for their own education, which I'm sure that they didn't, their daddies definitely had a hand in that bill. Poor things.
I headed for the refuge of my car, small, beautiful, mine. Only to find that someone had parked their huge SUV half way in my spot. I sighed and silently cursed the maker of these beasts as I squeezed my way into the driver's seat of my tiny VW golf and maneuvered my way out of the parking spot. Thankful that I had a small car and that the 'beasts' door hadn't banged mine.
As I write this now I think that if I had come home and written immediately what I was thinking about while still on my coffee high this might've been a better post. I also wondered how possible it would've been to have been hit by the Italian Pie Shoppe Truck and offered a lifetime supply of their hot wings for the trauma put upon me by being hit by a pizza truck. Then all I could think about were the wings... Then it was wings and red wine...
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