Thursday, July 21, 2005

The long awaited Journal entry...


7/13/05
Do you know what smells awesome? The smell of coffee in the Boundary waters. This small token of scent brings feelings of warmth, comfort and home, making the boundary waters even more so a place that is home. It's so peaceful here. No sounds of motors, cars in the distance... Just deafening silence, birds, the occasional paddle of canoes and wind. The wind at this campsite on Insula is amazing. Almost a ghost wind. You hear it above you before you even feel it... Amazing. I wondered before coming up here if I truly liked coming up here or if it was just a ruse to make myself more appealing. But I've found that it is not so, I am hopelessly in love with this place.

7/15/05

Today we are 'forced' into 3 hours of contemplation time to ourselves... I could handle an hour, and this 3 hours is and might, drive me into picking more wild blueberries than needed in my system. Maybe it'll rain and end this madness.

For some of us on this trip it has been amazingly full of challenges that have been faced and over come. A work out, solitude, and a chance to further deepen friendships within bluer. Of which I am apart of all these, however my accomplishment is seemingly simple, only one small feat-to prove to myself and further cement my love of the outdoors. I have done it, with little effort. I was ecstatic to be here, willing to jump right into things to explore, swim, paddle.

The biggest thing that I've come to realize in the loving of this place is that there is someone out there for me. After two years of having this feeling 'stripped' from me, it's a relief and comfort to feel it again.

Isn't God's creation amazing?

I think my trip was filled with simple answers that I had been searching out. God is faithful, it's just timing and hearing both what you want to hear and what is actually being said that is the frustrating part. I know He looks out for me. A God/father who is passionately seeking me out, avidly being apart of my life is baffling to think about when you see all of this creation that He's looking after, as well as all His people. I know I'm treasured, I know I'm loved. I hope that I at least have a vague mirror image of that passionate persuance towards Him.

There is a way that I find You. As I stand in my busiest moment I find You, with Your eyes full of love. I lose my weight of hopelessness. My world of chaotic mess falls and I and surrounded by peace. I stop, and find that You are already deep into my thoughts, as striking up prayer like conversations-seems to take no effort and no explanation. I love that You are always with me... I love that You are breaking and molding me into who You want and need me to be.
I want to be where You stand.
I devour to know You.
I weep with joy with thoughts of seeing you.
My hope, my joy, my savior, my Jesus, My God.
Who is like you.?

1 comment:

Amy said...

You have beautifully captured in words exactly what my heart is feeling. Thanks for sharing this post!

P.S. I think that drinking coffee in the Boundary Waters ranks as one of my most favorite coffee moments ever. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a cup of coffee like I did up there!